Dead Derrick's Reviews

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boils and Ghouls, We Have Moved to Another Web Address!

2011-03-11T09:27:00.000-08:00

You read that right we have officially changed web addresses. No more new reviews of anything will be posted to this site. If you want to continue getting updated horror reviews, news, podcasts, etc. then head over to DEADFILM.NET

Yep, head over to DEADFILM.NET right now to get reviews of current and old-school movies, video games, books, and TV shows. Also to listen to Dead Derrick and Grey shoot the shit with different subjects of horror. Thanks for your continued support and it means the world to me and the other writers here. This started off as a little personal project and has now grown into something more. Deadfilm.net is simply the next step in this evolutionary cycle of terror. So check it out and let me know what you think! E-mail will always be deadderrick666@yahoo.com

WE ARE WHAT WE ARE (2011)

2011-03-09T09:48:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: Mexico

USA Release: Friday, February 18, 2011 (Limited Theatrical)

How I Saw It: Comcast On Demand

MPAA Rating: Not Rated (contains Violence, Gore, and Language)

Running Time: 1 hour 29 minutes

Directed by: Jorge Michel Grau

Written by: Jorge Michel Grau

Starring: Francisco Barreiro, Alan Chávez, Paulina Gaitan, Carmen Beato, Daniel Giménez Cacho

WE ARE WHAT WE ARE is a Mexican cannibal film, or Mexicannibals if you prefer to call them such. This is a movie that has been getting quite a lot of positive buzz and hype for nearly the last year. It appeared on many horror sites' top 10 horror films of 2010. Now comes the big question. Does it live up to the hype? Well, despite being a decent, dark film, WE ARE WHAT WE ARE falls far short of being perfect.

We are thrust into the lives of a poor Mexican family at the moment when they discover their father has died. This family is not like other typical families though. Far from it, this family has a particular taste for human flesh. The father used to do all the hunting for them, but now it is up to the sons, mother, and daughter to find their next meal using whatever means they can. Things get more complicated when a cop discovers he is on the trail of the cannibals and is determined to bring them to justice.

WE ARE WHAT WE ARE has some really solid moments and good things going for it. However, it does get bogged down with some real heavy-handed social commentary about how people metaphorically eat each other alive in society. They constantly remind you in this movie that the cannibals are a metaphor, which takes away from the story at hand. Also some of the acting seemed a little over-the-top at points, which took me right out of the film. The pacing is slow, but the last 20 minutes are great. It doesn't make up for literally almost an hour of cannibals stalking people and fighting amongst themselves.

There are things to like though. The cop storyline (though not nearly touched upon near as much as it should have been) was extremely interesting and involved me more than the actual cannibal storyline. That might have been the point though. The last 20 minutes of the film were extremely intense and disturbing. Especially the very last shot of the film, but these things do not make up for everything else failing to engage me.

Grade: B-: I am really torn on WE ARE WHAT WE ARE. It is not a bad film, but not particularly anything more than a decent effort at the cannibal subgenre, which has not really been done this way before. It's original and doesn't completely focus on just grossing you out. We just can't really care about characters who aren't developed and when the most interesting aspect of the movie isn't focused on the most, it doesn't bode well for the movie overall. I definitely didn't hate WE ARE WHAT WE ARE. I will say it's a well-made, decent effort. It has many flaws and just comes out okay, rather than a masterpiece. This one is worth a watch if you're bored and want something out of the ordinary.

DREAM HOME (2011)

2011-03-06T22:28:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: Hong Kong

USA Release: Friday, February 18, 2011 (Limited Theatrical)

How I Saw It: Comcast On Demand

MPAA Rating: Not Rated (contains Violence, Gore, Nudity, Sex, and Language)

Running Time: 1 hour 34 minutes

Directed by: Ho-Cheung Pang

Written by: Ho-Cheung Pang, Kwok Cheung Tsang, Chi-Man Wan

Starring: Josie Ho

An ultra-violent and pretty insane Asian slasher flick, DREAM HOME definitely has it's strong (and weak) moments. Ultimately, it becomes just another Asian horror entry with some entertainment value, but not much else to offer.

The film starts out extremely strong with a particularly nasty kill of a night watchman that actually had me wincing and saying to the screen "No way". This opening would be the best and strongest moment of the film though. That's not to say this is a bad movie by any standard, it just feels very average. The story follows a woman who has dreamed all her life of buying a flat with a view of the sea. Too bad the price of such an apartment is outrageous. This woman becomes a hardened killer and decides a few dead bodies turning up in said apartment building may lower the price of that wished-for flat just a little.

The acting from Josie Ho (as the main protagonist or antagonist, depending on what you want to label her) is good. We actually feel for her character as we view flashbacks explaining why she wants this flat so badly. Then we see another victim bite it in a horrible way and we feel nothing again. Speaking of which, this movie is insanely violent. Some of the kills made my jaw hit the floor (particularly the opening, and when a group of no-good druggies get their comeuppance). The gore was realistic looking and quite disturbing, even though the movie has a very macabre sense of humor.

Some of the humor felt a little too forced, but it was made up for by just how nasty this movie gets at points. There is good suspense built up and it pays off every now and then. However, none of these good points matter when I kept glancing to see how much longer this movie was going to last. The story-telling is told in an out-of-order way (in which the movie constantly time jumps back and forth). I will say I have never seen a slasher movie that has attempted this, so it gets props for trying something new. It just doesn't sustain the attention span and becomes dull after it jumps back in the past for the fifth time. Also, the ending was extremely anticlimatic and kinda made me go "well, I guess that's how it ends".

Grade: C+: DREAM HOME is an okay film with a few moments of inspired greatness. The entire film doesn't sustain the quality, suspense, humor, and nastiness of these moments for the entire run-time. It contains a good performance, great gore, but just becomes tedious with it's unusual story-telling after a while. Worth watching once or twice, but not the second-coming of Asian horror cinema. If you want to see the best example of Asian horror in years, watch I SAW THE DEVIL!

101 Best Horror Movies You've Never Seen: Review #2: APT PUPIL (1998)

2011-03-03T21:31:00.000-08:00

A little-known Stephen King adaptation is contained in the awesome book FANGORIA'S 101 BEST HORROR MOVIES YOU'VE NEVER SEEN. This underappreciated, unrecognized film is psychological and realistic horror at it's very best. This film will shake you to your core. This is APT PUPIL!

Country Of Origin: USA/Canada/France

USA Release: Friday, October 23, 1998 (Wide Theatrical)

How I Saw It: Library

MPAA Rating: R for Language, Nudity, Violence, and Gore

Running Time: 1 hour 51 minutes

Directed by: Bryan Singer

Written by: Brandon Boyce

(Based on the novella APT PUPIL by Stephen King)

Starring: Brad Renfro, Ian McKellen, Joshua Jackson, Bruce Davison, David Schwimmer, Elias Koteas

An extremely underrated, little-known tale of terror (written by master of horror Stephen King), APT PUPIL is a frightening tale about the darkness that lies within us all and the descent into pure evil. This film is really solid and mostly true to the novella (the ending has been completely changed, but it still works)!

Todd Bowden is a high school student that has recently become obsessed with the Holocaust after learning about it in school. While studying it in his spare time he makes a shocking discovery...one of his elderly neighbors is actually a Nazi war criminal named Kurt Dussander (played in a absolutely stunning performance by Ian McKellen). What does Todd do? Simple, he blackmails Dussander into telling him all the dirty little details of his time as a Nazi (or as Todd puts it "I want to know the stuff they won't tell us in school"). Todd begins to get wrapped up this newfound discovery of pure evil living right down the street from him. Dussander and Todd form a frightening relationship (or friendship) which puts them both in danger of being discovered and of each other.

First off, the performances here by everyone are absolutely astounding. I was blown away by everyone, particularly the two leads Brad Renfro and Ian McKellen who are equally chilling. We wonder how twisted and downright evil is Todd becoming just by learning from Dussander. The real horror here comes from how realistic the plot is and just how twisted the characters become. In one particularly bone-chilling sequence, Todd buys Dussander a Nazi outfit from a costume store and makes him march in the uniform. The transformation we see in Dussander is downright terrifying!

This film definitely isn't loaded with violence, but it does have a particularly nasty scene in it (starring the always talented Elias Koteas). The real suspense comes from the simple dialogue and pure evil being portrayed on the screen. This is one of King's very best stories (yet it gets the least recognition) translated into an equally powerful film with an atmosphere of pure dread.

Grade: A: Prepare to be blown away. This movie is absolutely amazing and incredible. Psychological horror at it's finest! One of the best Stephen King movies ever, which is saying a lot. This one comes highly recommended! Don't be fooled into thinking it's just a crappy drama or predictable thriller, this is pure horror! A must-see!

101 Best Horror Movies You've Never Seen: Review #1: NECRONOMICON (1996)

2011-03-03T08:04:00.000-08:00

Starting a new series of reviews. I have used FANGORIA'S 101 BEST HORROR MOVIES YOU'VE NEVER SEEN as a guide for choosing which horror flicks to add to my personal collection for years now and have come to the conclusion to start a series of reviews of these little-known horror films for the site. They are not necessarily going to be in the order that the book lists them (which is alphabetical) but I will make an attempt to see and review as many of these picks from the book as possible. This first entry is an H.P. Lovecraft anthology titled NECRONOMICON.

Country Of Origin: France/USA

USA Release: Tuesday, October 29, 1996 (Video)

How I Saw It: Imported DVD

MPAA Rating: R for Violence, Gore, Language, and Sex

Running Time: 1 hour 37 minutes

Directed by: Christophe Gans, Shusuke Kaneko, Brian Yuzna

Written by: Brent V. Friedman, Christophe Gans, Kazunori Itô, Brian Yuzna

(Based on three short stories by H.P. Lovecraft, THE RATS IN THE WALLS, COOL AIR, THE WHISPERER IN THE DARKNESS)

Starring: Jeffrey Combs, Bruce Payne, David Warner, Bess Meyer, Signy Coleman, Don Calfa

Anthologies are some of the best examples of horror filmmaking. It's interesting to watch a group of short horror stories put to film during one sitting. Another plus is that if one story sucks, the rest have a chance of being better. NECRONOMICON's weakest story is still good, which goes to show the quality of this film! The wrap-around story follows H.P. Lovecraft himself (played by Jeffrey Combs) as he visits a mysterious monastery and translates the Necronomicon (an ancient book of evil) for his writings and the safety of man-kind. What follows as he reads are 3 adaptations of Lovecraft tales.

Story 1: THE DROWNED
The first story is about a man who attempts to resurrect his wife (who died in a car accident). Turns out the ritual has some unexpected side-effects. This story had some very cool special effects and a dark atmosphere. It also has an appearance by a Cthulhu/Dagon kind of monster near the end. Pretty friggin' neat!
Grade: B+

Story 2: THE COLD
A woman (who has just moved into an apartment building) discovers another resident there is a scientist who has a rare disease, he will not age if kept alive in the cold and with considerable doses of spinal fluid. Unfortunately, spinal fluid does not grow on trees and this leads him to have someone murder people and steal their spinal fluid. Despite his despicable nature, the woman begins falling in love with the man which leads to some pretty sick and nasty consequences. This was the weakest story of the three. There were parts of it that just dragged, but when there was interesting stuff happening, it was pretty insane! Although, this is the weakest, the ending alone makes up for it (what a dark way to cap it all off).
Grade: B

Story 3: WHISPERS
In my opinion, the best story of the three. A pregnant cop pursues a killer who has kidnapped her partner into an abandoned warehouse. Turns out a weird couple live in the warehouse and there are creatures underneath it as well. This story is disturbing, darkly comedic, and just plain scary. I loved every second! This is how you tell a horror story! It all leads up to a nightmarish and twisted ending that will have you laughing at the cheesy effects but creeped out by where the story went.
Grade: A-

Overall Grade: B+: Although I did not care for the aspect of making H.P. Lovecraft into some sort of action hero near the end (it's like having Edgar Allan Poe pulling of Indiana Jones stunts, just isn't right), this movie is all kinds of cool! With some really neat (cheesy) practical effects, good acting, and brilliant writing, this one comes highly recommended. The major problem I have with this movie is that it currently has not yet been released on DVD! Seriously, it was well-received when it originally came out. What makes the studio think it wouldn't have an audience now? Oh well, this is only avaliable on VHS at the moment (and other means if you get my drift). You should definitely give this one a look, if the opportunity comes!

Upcoming Flicks: MADISON COUNTY

2011-03-01T11:48:00.000-08:00

Independent slasher films are really nothing new...at all. But ones that actually hold promise and seem to capture the creepy, unnerving vibe that makes horror films (not just slashers) work are few and far between, MADISON COUNTY holds some really high potential for being a take-no-prisoners, brutal-as-hell horror film. The plot synopsis goes a little something like this: Madison County is about a group of college students that travel to a remote, mountain town called Madison County to interview the author of a tell-all book on the accounts of the grisly murders that happened in the town over two decades ago. Upon their arrival, the author is no where to be found and the townspeople state that they’ve “not seen him in years.” They also deny that Damien Ewell, the notorious murderer, ever existed and that the murders never happened. As the kids start to dig around to get their own answers, they come to find that the stories, and Damien, maybe more real than the townspeople are letting on.

Sounds like a recipie for some terrifying mayhem to me. This one holds some serious promise for some scares and grueling horror. The make-up effects were done by Almost Human Inc. (who worked on DEVIL and PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2) and seems to have some real up-and-coming talent behind the directing and writing.

For the films official website check out: http://madisoncountymovie.com/

Also, watch the trailer below...

RED EYE (2005)

2011-02-28T08:44:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: USA

USA Release: Friday, August 19, 2005 (Wide Theatrical)

How I Saw It: Family Member's DVD

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for Language and Violence

Running Time: 1 hour 25 minutes

Directed by: Wes Craven

Written by: Carl Ellsworth

Starring: Rachel McAdams, Cillian Murphy, Brian Cox

Wes Craven's talent has taken a turn for the worst in the last decade. Considering his last truly amazing film was SCREAM (from the 90's). His last two efforts CURSED and MY SOUL TO TAKE have been utter failures. Does RED EYE fair any better?

The story follows Lisa and Jackson. Lisa boards a plane (Red Eye flight, hence the name) only to sit next to the polite, extremely nice gentleman who she had met a few times earlier in the airport. This gentleman (who goes under the name Jackson) turns out to be involved in an assasination plot that she has suddenly become a part of. She must co-operate with this murderous psycho in order to save her father's life and her own, but can she live with being a part of someone else's death.

RED EYE sounds like something Alfred Hitchcock would have thought of and created into a film himself. The plot sounds really intense and in some points is insanely suspenseful. However, as the film reaches the last third, it gets too ridiculous, over-the-top, and laughable to be believable (more on that later). The performance by Cillian Murphy is great. He proves he is talented and scary as the bad guy. Rachel McAdams is good as the scared and troubled victim and Brian Cox is momentarily in the movie, so you can't really judge his performance.

The direction by Craven is solid and the dialogue is mostly realistic. Now we come to the major flaw, the last 30 minutes are absolutely ludicrous. So much so, that it attempts to kill the first hour of suspense. Our main character turns into a badass action hero with absolutely no warning or hints whatsoever. It was just too over-blown. I rolled my eyes more than once in the last 30 minutes of this film. Just so utterly ridiculous and unbelievable!

Grade: C+: This one came close to redeeming Wes Craven as a master of horror. With a dynamite Hitchcockian premise that had some real suspense behind it, the last third of the film makes you want to yell at Wes Craven and the writer and say "Why did you have to ruin it?!" Overall, this was an okay film that didn't have enough talent or creativity to make the premise last more than an hour before attempting to ruin it. This is worth a slow rainy day, but just expect it to end up as a time-waster and nothing more.

DRIVE ANGRY (2011)

2011-02-25T08:22:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: USA

USA Release: Friday, February 25, 2011 (Wide Theatrical)

How I Saw It: Movie Theater (3D Screening)

(Thursday, February 24, 2011) (Jordan Commons) (9:00 pm)

MPAA Rating: R for Violence, Gore, Nudity, Sex, and Language

Running Time: 1 hour 44 minutes

Directed by: Patrick Lussier

Written by: Todd Farmer, Patrick Lussier

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Amber Heard, William Fitchner, Billy Burke, David Morse

Throw one part GRINDHOUSE, another part SHOOT 'EM UP, a satanic cult, Nicolas Cage, and insane car chases in a blender and put it on puree. What comes out would be DRIVE ANGRY! Shot in 3D by the same guys who made MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D (which was an okay movie, but not as fun as everyone made it out to be), DRIVE ANGRY is a much better film than their previous effort. It doesn't take itself seriously, hardly a moment goes by that isn't loaded with action or some of the best car chases since DEATH PROOF. DRIVE ANGRY is definitely a crowd-pleaser that will have you laughing one minute and cheering the next.

Milton (Nicolas Cage) has escaped from Hell to avenge the death of his daughter and rescue her child (his granddaughter) from a vicious group of devil-worshipers lead by Jonah King (Billy Burke, who plays Bella's dad in the Twilight series). Milton finds a friend and sidekick in Piper (Amber Heard) and is also being pursued by The Accountant (played brilliantly by William Fitchner, who is easily the stand-out of the entire film).

This movie is absolutely entertaining in every way. Nicolas Cage has officially redeemed himself for nearly every bad film he's made recently (which is a pretty long list) by being the ultimate badass in this movie. Amber Heard is good (and hot as always), an unrecognizable Billy Burke is great as the main baddie, Tom Atkins shows up as a corrupt sheriff, and (as stated before) William Fitchner is easily the best part of the entire film. His role as The Accountant is done perfectly. His performance alone boosted this film on my grading scale.

Now for the gore, this movie gets quite messy and action-packed. There was never really a dull moment in the entire film. The action scenes were nothing less than absolutely insane and gave Nicolas Cage his ass-kicking ability back. The sense of humor this movie contains is perfect as well, it is much in the same vein as the self-aware SHOOT 'EM UP! Especially a gun-fight/sex scene that was nothing less than hysterical. The CGI wavers in two places (one moment in the climax), but that's the only real issue I had with this film.

Grade: A-: Yes, you read that right. DRIVE ANGRY is a blast of insanity, demented humor, and FUN! This movie is meant to be cheesy, exploitative, hilarious, and good fun. It accomplishes all of the above. I enjoyed pretty much every second. The 3D gags were cool and added to the cheesy level. Overall, this is one film that horror fans will definitely love and enjoy the hell out of! It's one hell of a ride (pun intended)!

BLACK DEATH (2011)

2011-02-20T19:40:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: UK/Germany

USA Release: Friday, March 11, 2011 (Limited Theatrical)

How I Saw It: Comcast On Demand

MPAA Rating: R for Violence, Gore, and Language

Running Time: 1 hour 41 minutes

Directed by: Christopher Smith

Written by: Dario Poloni

Starring: Eddie Redmayne, Sean Bean, Carice Van Houten

With the exception of SEASON OF THE WITCH, there aren't too many horror films dealing with the horrifying period in medieval history where the black plague brought chaos down upon the heads of peasants, rich folk, and church-goers alike. Christopher Smith (who directed CREEP, SEVERANCE, TRIANGLE) has made his most mature film in BLACK DEATH. It is unlike any of his previous horror stories in that it owes a lot to atmosphere and pure suspense, while also bringing in some really cool gore and seriously depraved plot twists throughout.

A young monk promises a beautiful girl that he is in love with that he will meet her in the forest within a week. Very soon after that, a group of "god's warriors" arrive in the monk's monastery seeking a guide to get them through the forest and marsh to reach a remote village where the black plague has not taken its toll. Turns out they believe this village is not affected because of a supposed necromancer who dwells within this isolated village. This quest may lead them into the very pits of hell itself and to the brink of madness.

The acting from everyone involved is very professional and the writing is nothing short of brilliant. Supense is built up extremely well. The true aspect of the horror within this story lies in that the most terrifying events that happen in this film could (and probably did) very well happen in the time period it was set. There are brief touches of the supernatural, but these are but brief moments and do not distract from the main story at hand.

This was clearly a film made with a passion for bringing the horror, scares, and darkness that lies within us all out into the open. There are some major twists that happen throughout the film, particularly in the final act. In my honest opinion the film couldn't have closed out better. This was a truly horrifying experience that didn't cater to any particular audience and told a mature (all too real) horror story that will shock, mortify, and leave you with your jaw on the floor. I was absolutely agast in the final act at how dark this movie got. One line of dialogue made me realize how bleak this movie truly was.

Grade: A+: Prepare to be floored by this epic, terrifying tale of one of the bleakest moments in world history. As it should be, this movie is truly as bleak and disturbing as they come. It doesn't completely rely on gore (though it does have some messy moments). The acting, directing, atmosphere, writing, everything about this movie had me floored. It is an amazing masterpiece that demands to be seen by horror fans. Definitely give this one a look when you get a chance!

SEPTIEN (To Be Released)

2011-02-20T17:08:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: USA

USA Release: Not Yet Released

How I Saw It: Comcast On Demand

MPAA Rating: Not Rated (contains Language, Nudity)

Running Time: 1 hour 19 minutes

Directed by: Michael Tully

Written by: Michael Tully

Starring: Michael Tully, Robert Longstreet, Onur Tukel

This film has been included on horror websites, it played at this year's Sundance Film Festival as part of the Park City at Midnight program (where they mainly screen horror films). SEPTIEN is far from scary, creepy, or remotely frightening. What it did accomplish was making me uneasy and having me on the edge of my seat wondering...when this movie was going to get any good!

SEPTIEN (what is even up with that title) follows three backwoods redneck brothers (one of which has been missing for 18 years). They then proceed to argue, whine, moan about life, paint pictures of mutilations, and ramble about absolutely nothing for 79 minutes! It grates the nerves and pisses you off far beyond anything you can possibly comprehend. Nothing was remotely GOOD about this film...at all! AT ALL!

The acting from everyone came off as annoying and the same musical score playing over and over (and over and over) just got...well, repetitive. We get a protective plumber, a young girl, and a traveling preacher. These characters add absolutely NOTHING to the film. There was no atmosphere, no tension, nothing likeable about a single aspect in this good-for-nothing film!

There are definitely uncomfortable themes dealing pedophilia, molestation, religion, family matters and lots of other topics that should have been interesting...but they weren't! This was sooooo boring, annoying, and just dull. Nothing really happens in this film until the last ten minutes, which weren't even that interesting to begin with. I can only imagine the hatred and anger I would have felt if I had actually seen this movie at Sundance 2011. Boo! Boo, I say, Boo!

Grade: F: This is the kind of movie that people used to throw tomatoes at when it was playing in the theater. Everything about this movie sucked, period. It won't make my 10 worst of 2011 (it's not purely horror, so I won't ride it that hard), but I will never ever subject myself or anyone to the piece-of-crap film ever again.

UNKNOWN (2011)

2011-02-18T19:41:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: UK/Germany/France/Canada/Japan/USA

USA Release: Friday, February 18, 2011 (Wide Theatrical)

How I Saw It: Movie Theater

(Friday, February 18, 2011) (Showstar Cinema 6) (4:55 pm)

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for Violence and Language

Running Time: 1 hour 53 minutes

Directed by: Jaume Collet-Serra

Written by: Oliver Butcher, Stephen Cornwell

(Based on the novel OUT OF MY HEAD by Didier Van Cauwelaert)

Starring: Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger, January Jones, Aidan Quinn, Frank Langella

Liam Neeson can make anything cool. He was easily the best part of STAR WARS EPISODE I (damn you Jar Jar Binks!), kicked kidnapper ass in TAKEN, was the best member of the A-TEAM, and creeped everybody out in 2010's AFTER.LIFE. Now, Liam Neeson gets his identity stolen and he doesn't take too well to being a victim of identity theft.

Martin Harris (Liam Neeson) and his wife travel to Germany for a conference. Martin gets in a serious car accident and winds up in a coma for 4 days. He wakes up to discover that another man has assumed his identity. Not a single person (including his wife) believes that this has happened. It is now up to Martin to find out how and why this has happened. Meanwhile, there are mysterious men attempting to kill Martin.

UNKNOWN starts off perfectly! There are moments of extreme tension that had me white-knuckled. The acting from anyone involved is great (especially from Liam Neeson...of course)! The writing is absolutely fantastic in the first two-thirds in the story. When the explanation to everything that's going on is revealed, it leaves a little to be desired.

The action scenes (particularly an intense car chase) are easily the best parts of the movie. If sections of the writing had been tweaked, this could have been an awesome movie rather than just a great one. The full explanation gets a little too ridiculous and the film gets too far-fetched in it's last third. Also, the very last scene was forced and felt unneeded.

Grade: B+: UNKNOWN is a great thriller with some really insane action scenes and great writing (for most of the film). I ultimately dug the film, despite some flaws. This one comes recommended for fans of thrillers, horror, action and (of course) Liam Neeson. I eagerly await Liam Neeson's next film.

20 Underrated Horror Films...That You Definitely Should See!

2011-02-18T09:05:00.000-08:00

We as horror fans sit through a lot of garbage movies hoping to find the gems. There are some that we downright avoid because we hear that they are so terrible and then there are others that we don't watch simply because we don't even know they existed in the first place. The purpose of this list is to bring attention to 20 horror films that I personally feel deserve a lot more credit than they receive. All of these movie (while not all of them are perfect) are definitely worth watching and solid films. I couldn't include every single underrated film (CUBE, FALLEN, BURNT OFFERINGS are missing from the list) but these are 20 of my personal favorite underrated horror flicks!

20. THEY
Ignore the "Wes Craven Presents" above the title of this film. To my knowledge Wes Craven had nothing to do with this movie at all. What this film is about is creatures who actually lived under the bed, in the closet, etc. coming back to claim the children they scared (who are now young adults) to take them to their "world" and devour them. This was a really solid, and at points, really scary film that will traumatize those young preteens who think they are awesome because they didn't jump once at the remake of WHEN A STRANGER CALLS. THEY is a solid effort that is well-worth your time!

19. WILLARD
Crispin Glover gives a tour-de-force performance as a lonely man who lives with his sickly mother in his dead father's home. Willard is constantly tormented and bullied at his job by his boss (played wonderfully by R. Lee Ermey). Willard finds sollitude in his friend Socrates (a rat who he found in the basement. He finds that he can somehow will the rats in his basement to do what he wants them to do, and finds that a huge rat named Ben wants his attention as well. This movie was marketed as a slasher film and it is anything but that. This is more a psychological study of what one person can go through before they snap. Great film with amazing acting, an awesome score, and some really disturbing scenes.

18. SHEITAN
A criminally ignored nightmarish French horror film. This was surreal, disturbing, darkly hilarious, and downright weird. Vincent Cassel plays two roles in this unapologetically dark film. I can't really describe the plot other than a group of young adults run into a family of satanist, french rednecks. That synopsis does not do this movie justice in any sense.

17. DEAD & BURIED
A forgotten gem from the '80s. People are being murdered in a small town and then popping up as friendly, cheerful citizens of the town. The sheriff struggles to figure out exactly what the hell is happening. This was utterly brilliant! With some really well-built suspense. This is almost like a supernatural mystery. Definitely worth a look if only for the awesome climax!

16. THE NINTH GATE
Roman Polanski's most underrated film! Johnny Depp gives a great performance as a book-dealer who is hired to track down three copies of a book supposedly penned by the devil himself. This one has a dark atmosphere through the entire running time. It is slow-moving (but so are Polanski's other films) and you have to pay attention to understand key points later on. A thinking man's film for certain!

15. HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL
Okay, okay, this is a dumb popcorn horror flick which is a remake of a Vincent Price classic. However, this film has an absolutely amazing atmosphere and some really freaky scares throughout. This one is by far one of Dark Castle's best films to date.

14. THE DARK HOURS
Most of you probably haven't even heard of this one. It starts like a home invasion movie and gets progressively darker and stranger over time. With some really solid twists and great acting, the less I say about this one, the better. You deserve to not have anything spoiled!

13. DOLLS
This one is almost like a children's dark fairy tale. Without some of the gore, this could have easily garnered a PG rating. It is better than any one of those PUPPETMASTER films and it has the awesome power of Stuart Gordon directing it. With a whimsical feel and some really cool (though dated) special effects, this one makes for a good time.

12. DEEP RISING
A group of modern day pirates board the largest party ship in the world...only to discover it's deserted! All the crew, passengers, everybody has disappeared. Turns out a sea monster has attacked the ship and is still on board. Now, trapped on the ship and being picked off by the sea monster, it is up to this band of unlikely allies to make their escape. Great fun! This is ridiculous B-movie gold. I love everything about this film!

11. MARY SHELLEY'S FRANKENSTEIN
Another one that gets a lot of hatred. It is the best TRUE adaptation of the Mary Shelley's novel though! It features good performances and Robert DeNiro is great. This one has a good, spooky atmosphere and lots of talent involved. I don't really get the hatred for it at all.

10. THE FACULTY
If you don't enjoy this film...you have no soul! This is an absolute blast. Imagine INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS mixed with a high school comedy, you get this movie! There are some great quality characters, the jokes are hysterical and the last 30 minutes are absolutely INSANE! This flick is just great fun!

9. THINNER
Considered Stephen King's worst film, this is a near perfect adaptation of the disturbing novel. It works so well and has great make-up work. The story is about a fat lawyer who is cursed by a gypsy. His curse causes him to get thinner and thinner, until he withers away and dies. The acting is good, the effects are very cool, and the ending is a perfect way to cap off a great Stephen King tale!

8. THE OTHER
A gem from the '70s. Twin brothers have a gift to play psychic games with each other...this movie kind of sucks...UNTIL a twist comes along mid-way through and puts a new perspective on everything that came before it. Stick out the first 30-40 minutes and you will most definitely be rewarded with a shocking, disturbing tale that will haunt you long after it ends. Also, I cannot believe this film was made in the '70s, why do I say this? You'll see!

7. PARENTS
A young boy suspects his parents are cannibals. This sounds like a comedy, a really wacky comedy. You are DEAD wrong for thinking so. This is one DISTURBING film! It is awfully hard to find a good DVD of it (since the original is out-of-print) but if you get your hands on one, you will be rewarded with this dark, depraved film loaded with tension!

6. THE ATTIC EXPEDITIONS
Jeremy Kasten's take on the mind-trip horror genre. What's real? What's imagined? You'll probably have to view the film more than once to pick up on what exactly is going on. I've seen it 5 times now and still don't completely understand everything. Twisted, nightmarish and full of Lovecraftian horror, THE ATTIC EXPEDITIONS is a smart film that will leave your head and imagination spinning once it has ended!

5. ANGUISH
Starts off like a really crappy slasher film. 20 minutes in, something happens that warps that concept entirely. This is another head-trip of a movie with loads of twists and suspense. Featuring a truly bizarre idea that was executed near perfection, ANGUISH is one of the best horror films you've never seen!

4. DAGON
One of the best Lovecraft films ever made. This is Stuart Gordon's finest film (in my opinion) but also one of his least seen. Featuring some great effects, bizarre creatures, and the typical bleak Lovecraftian ending. This is a great film that deserves a lot more recognition and praise than it gets.

3. HOME MOVIE
Barnone, one of the most frightening films I have ever seen. It isn't jump out of your seat scary, it's get under your skin and haunt you for the rest of your life SCARY! It's the best example of a found footage film that I've seen...maybe ever. Truly an underrated and little-known masterpiece. This one is definitely worth your time!

2. PERFUME: THE STORY OF A MURDERER
A masterpiece of filmmaking and horror cinema. PERFUME is a horrifying and beautiful adult fairy tale. Featuring not much spoken dialogue and mostly narration, this is an amazing feat that few people have heard of let-alone seen. This is simply amazing!

1. THE FRIGHTENERS

One of my favorite (and best) horror comedies ever made! This and DEAD-ALIVE are both Peter Jackson's masterpieces (forget LORD OF THE RINGS). If you haven't seen this film, check it out RIGHT NOW! It will become one of your new favorite horror films. With some cool (aged, cheesy) special effects, brilliant writing, good characters, and great acting, this film is right up there with SHAUN OF THE DEAD as one of the funniest horror-comedies! By the way, keep an eye out for Jeffrey Combs. He makes this movie his own!

FROM HELL (2001)

2011-02-16T09:38:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: USA

USA Release: Friday, October 19, 2001 (Wide Theatrical)

How I Saw It: Family Member's DVD

MPAA Rating: R for Violence, Gore, Nudity, Sex, and Language

Running Time: 2 hours 2 minutes

Directed by: Albert Hughes, Allen Hughes

Written by: Terry Hayes, Rafael Yglesias

(Based on the graphic novel by Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell)

Starring: Johnny Depp, Heather Graham, Ian Holm, Robbie Coltrane, Ian Richardson, Jason Flemyng

Jack The Ripper has to be one of the most notorious serial killers in world history! His story is perfect fodder for the horror genre. Based off the notorious graphic novel, FROM HELL tells the story of Fredrick Abberline who is assigned to investigate a serial killer who is slicing up prostitutes all over foggy London town. He also seems to be having psychic visions of who the Ripper will kill next (which is one of the main flaws with this film), meanwhile he falls in love with a whore (played by Heather Graham) and is assisted by a medical teacher (Ian Holm) to try and catch this madman before it's too late.

This movie excels at creating atmosphere, which the story requires to work. The acting is great from almost everyone involved (especially from the Ripper, when his real identity is revealed). The characters are well-developed and we do care about them, so it is horrifying when something terrible happens to them (and terrible things do happen in this film). This is a piece of historical fiction (as was 300) it blends facts with fiction, but it was refreshing to see some of the real events that did happen in the Jack The Ripper case brought to life on screen.

Johnny Depp is good in this film, but his character is smoking opium through most of the film...so it doesn't offer him a lot of range for the role. Also, I really didn't like the psychic visions aspect of this movie. It would have been much better to make the story realistic, rather than having a somewhat supernatural angle to it.

It seems like this movie offers too many red herrings as well. It literally tries to make people look like suspects who are just random guys wearing top-hats. Oh well, when the Ripper is revealed the last 30 minutes of this movie become insanely intense. One scene imparticular concludes with a rather nasty kill that will chill your blood. Another flaw with this film would have to be Heather Graham (she is akin to Megan Fox in JONAH HEX as a whore who doesn't look or act like a whore). She can't seem to decide on what accent she wants to use as well, Irish, British, no accent at all, or a mix of all three!

Grade: B+: This is a great film, despite some shortcomings. It could have been a masterpiece, if some aspects had been changed. This still comes highly recommended and is well worth a viewing in the dark. It runs a little too long and definitely has flaws, but the good far outweighs the bad. Check this one out!

HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1999)

2011-02-16T09:10:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: USA

USA Release: Friday, October 29, 1999 (Wide Theatrical)

How I Saw It: My Own DVD

MPAA Rating: R for Violence, Gore, Nudity, and Language

Running Time: 1 hour 33 minutes

Directed by: William Malone

Written by: Dick Beebee

(Based on the 1959 screenplay by Robb White)

Starring: Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen, Taye Diggs, Ali Larter, Chris Kattan

The original HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (directed by William Castle, starring Vincent Price) is a horror classic. How can you possibly follow a film like that up, by remaking it with a (mostly) talented cast, contain some really effective scares and have it directed by the artistic William Malone (PARASOMNIA, FEARDOTCOM). This update of the classic horror film contains elements that made the original work, while also containing a really effective atmosphere and creating some really SCARY moments (one of which made it into my top 13 scariest scenes of all-time).

The Vannacutt Psychiatric Institute For The Criminally Insane has a horrific past. It housed a surgeon (played by the always awesome Jeffrey Combs) who would perform sick medical experiments on patients. After the inmates busted out of their cells, a fire broke out, and the surgeon pulled a switch which locked the hospital down...everyone died. Now, Stephen and Evelyn Price are hosting a party there. A group of strangers have been invited and will receive a sum of one-million dollars if they can spend and survive the night...too bad the ghosts that inhabit Vannacutt have other ideas.

One of the great aspects of this film is the amazing atmosphere. It feels like the haunted house from hell, partly because it's rather an insane asylum than just a mansion. Unlike a previous haunted house remake that came out the same year (the remake of THE HAUNTING) this film feels daring, contains some gore and really disturbing images (partly because of the R-rating). There are some scenes that are absolutely the stuff of nightmares (particularly, the video camera scene and the Saturation Tank...which continues to haunt me to this day!).

Are there flaws with this film? Definately, the cast though talented contains one fatal actor...Chris Kattan. He single handedly takes this movie from an down a grade. He is absolutely horrid in this film and plays one of the most annoying characters in horror movie history (yes, it's worse than the wheelchair kid from the original TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE). The ending is a little cheesy too, wrapped up nice and neatly with a little bow on top. Something should be said for two more aspects that work fantastically about this film. The effects (though some have aged) are extremely cool to look at and the soundtrack is awesome (the actual music score that plays throughout the film is perfect for setting up in a haunted attraction).

Grade: B+: Chris Kattan and the ending both kinda suck, okay well Chris Kattan is awful and the ending is corny. However, this is a FUN, SCARY, and GREAT horror film that will entertain and frighten. It has an awesome atmosphere (an actual haunted attraction of this movie in a theme park would be terrifying!) and is made with real talent and visual flair. Check this one out!

THE LAST LOVECRAFT: RELIC OF CTHULHU (2011)

2011-02-16T08:31:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: USA

USA Release: Tuesday, February 15, 2011 (DVD)

How I Saw It: My Own DVD

MPAA Rating: Not Rated (contains Violence, Gore, and Language)

Running Time: 1 hour 18 minutes

Directed by: Henry Saine

Written by: Devin McGinn

Starring: Kyle Davis, Devin McGinn, Barak Hardley, Gregg Lawrence, Ethan Wilde

The Lovecraft mythos has inspired many a film (DAGON, RE-ANIMATOR, FROM BEYOND, the list goes on). I have never seen it inspire a spoof/comedy about the Cthulhu mythos though...until now! THE LAST LOVECRAFT: RELIC OF CTHULHU is such a film. How does it work out though. It has about 40 minutes of hilarity, but there the other half of this film (the running time is barely under 80 minutes) falls flat on its face.

The last living descendant of legendary horror master H.P. Lovecraft is called to action when a relic surfaces that could unleash the most evil of horrors...the dark lord Cthulhu. Now it is up to two best friends and an ultra nerdy guy (who still lives with his grandmother) to keep this relic safe from the cult of Cthulhu who want to unleash their master. If you know nothing about Lovecraft and have never even heard of Cthulhu until now, then you will not like this film at all. This is one strictly for diehard horror fans who know their stuff about the Cthulhu mythos.

The creature effects in this movie are very cool to behold, this was definitely a low-budget production. They did what they could though and it looked cool and creative. The writing sometimes gets a little dull here and there with some unneeded exposition, there is a particularly great moment where we learn why a sea captian, who did battle with some of Cthulhu's minions, has moved into the middle of the desert. The jokes fall flat throughout half the film though, which doesn't really work that well for a horror-comedy.

When the film disastriously incoporates some really terrible CGI into the film, it really kind of falls apart. The final battle is extremely anti-climatic too. I just sat there and said "Really, that's honestly how that ends". There was a cool little epilogue though, which may promise a LAST LOVECRAFT sequel. One can hope if that film gets made, the jokes will hit more often than they miss.

Grade: C+: This contained 40 minutes of greatness, but the rest of the film can keep it up to that standard. About half of the jokes fall flat. The creature effects are cool, but the CGI is terrible. Also, the writing gets bogged down every now and then. However, these flaws can be overlooked if you just want to have a fun time with a few other Lovecraft fanatics. This movie was merely okay. I can't really recommend it to anyone other than Lovecraft devotees. Don't expect it to be great.

DEXTER Season 4 (2009)

2011-02-13T21:55:00.000-08:00

Directed by: Marcos Siega, Brian Kirk, John Dahl, Keith Gordon, Romeo Tirone, Tim Hunter, Ernest R. Dickerson, S.J. Clarkson, Steve Shill

Written by: Clyde Phillips, Charles H. Eglee, Scott Buck, Melissa Rosenberg, Wendy West, Timothy Schlattmann, Lauren Gussis, Scott Reynolds

Starring: Michael C. Hall, Jennifer Carpenter, Julie Benz, Lauren Velez, David Zayas, James Remar, C.S. Lee, Christina Robinson, Preston Bailey, Desmond Harrington, David Ramsey, Keith Carradine, John Lithgow, Courtney Ford

Wow! Simply wow! Talk about improving over Season 3 and being at the best point this series has been thus far! DEXTER Season 4 will have fans of this awesome horror TV series overjoyed with how dark, sinister, suspenseful and simply perfect this season is! In other words, if you don't want any spoilers (although they are only minor ones) for Season 4, don't read on until you've seen it. Because this is the best season in the entire series (at least, so far)!
PREVIOUSLY ON DEXTER (DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT THE PREVIOUS SEASONS SPOILED)!
Dexter has taken care of Miguel Prado (who turned out to be more like Lila from season 2, rather than a cool best friend) and The Skinner (the big serial killer from Season 3). He has also married Rita and become a stepfather to Cody and Astor. Rita is pregnant with Dexter's child and that is where Season 4 picks up!

Episode 1: LIVING THE DREAM (Air Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009)
Dexter now has a baby Harrison and is living through life sleep-deprived. He also makes a mistake that sets a murderer free from court. So Dexter takes justice into his own hands. Also, it appears a new serial killer is on the loose in Miami and special agent Lundy is back to catch him. The killer's title...Trinity. This was a strong start to an awesome season with a classic cliff-hanger. Great stuff!
Grade: A

Episode 2: REMAINS TO BE SEEN (Air Date: Sunday, October 4, 2009)
After getting in a car accident, Dexter must try to remember where he hid the body parts of his latest victim. This was another great episode with geniune suspense and a dark atmosphere. I am also saying it right now, John Lithgow is a scary dude!
Grade: A

Episode 3: BLINDED BY THE LIGHT (Air Date: Sunday, October 11, 2009)
Dexter's neighbors set up a neighborhood watch, which is the last thing Dexter needs. So he takes matters into his own hands and tries to catch the criminal himself. Also, Debra has difficulty juggling Anton (her current boyfriend) and Lundy (her ex-lover). Trinity makes another kill as well. This was the first A+ episode of Season 4 and it launches the season into the perfection we've all come to know, love and expect from DEXTER!
Grade: A+

Episode 4: DEX TAKES A HOLIDAY (Air Date: Sunday, October 18, 2009)
While the wife and kids are away on vacation, Dexter tracks down a new target who is quite a challenge (a police officer who killed her own family and made it look like a home invasion). Awesome episode with a great bad girl and Trinity is still scary as hell. What a gripping way to close it out too!
Grade: A+

Episode 5: DIRTY HARRY (Air Date: Sunday, October 25, 2009)
Debra finds that one of the people she is close to has been killed by what appears to be the Trinity Killer. Dexter is also in hot water after Rita finds out that he hasn't gotten rid of his old apartment. Dexter also decides to take on Trinity himself, but soon discovers that Trinity may have a deadly similarities to himself. Although not as awesome as the previous two episodes, this is still a fantastic and well-done chapter in Season 4.
Grade: A

Episode 6: IF I HAD A HAMMER (Air Date: Sunday, November 1, 2009)
Dexter meets Trinity in person, without Trinity knowing who he really is (of course). Turns out Trinity is a family man, teacher, church-goer, and all-around "good" person. Dexter is determined to discover how Trinity has kept the balance between his dark side and regular life for all these years. Also, another victim of Trinity has been discovered, this one is a bludgeoning. Another perfect episode that sinks Season 4 into much darker territory than any of the previous seasons of this amazing series!
Grade: A+

Episode 7: SLACK TIDE (Air Date: Sunday, November 8, 2009)
Dexter actually becomes "friends" with Trinity and gets closer and closer to one of the most dangerous predators he has ever hunted. However, Dexter also sets his sites on a seemingly murderous fashion photographer and goes on a camping trip with Cody. This was another perfect entry in my favorite TV show of all-time! Everything was just right, also bleak cliff-hanger!
Grade: A+

Episode 8: ROAD KILL (Air Date: Sunday, November 15, 2009)
Dexter goes on a out-of-town trip with Trinity and plans to kill him. Things don't turn out as planned though and suspense is built up. We also learn the origin of how Trinity became the monster that he now is! Rita and Dexter are also having a good relationship and Dexter is being a good father to Harrison, Astor, and Cody. Great episode with some seriously twisted scenes.
Grade: A+

Episode 9: HUNGRY MAN (Air Date: Sunday, November 22, 2009)
Dexter gets himself invited over to Trinity's for Thanksgiving dinner and finds not all is well with this "happy" family. This is where Season 4 will hook you and not let go until you've watched the season finale. One of the standout (and my personal favorite) episodes in this season!
Grade: A+

Episode 10: LOST BOYS (Air Date: Sunday, November 29, 2009)
Dexter discovers a shocking step in Trinity's pattern that has been overlooked. A young boy's life now hangs in the balance as Dexter stalks Trinity. Debra gets closer to discovering Trinity and gets some clues to who might have seriously injured here. This was the most disturbing episode of Season 4 and geniunely gave me the creeps. John Lithgow still proves he is a masterful actor and gives you the chills!
Grade: A+

Episode 11: HELLO, DEXTER MORGAN (Air Date: Sunday, December 6, 2009)
Trinity goes on the hunt for to find out who Dexter really is. This cat-and-mouse game leads to innocent lives being lost and caught in the balance. Absolutely tension filled and contains three of the most chilling words ever spoken in the entire series. Amazing stuff!
Grade: A+

Episode 12: THE GETAWAY (Air Date: Sunday, December 13, 2009)
Trinity and Dexter go head to head in a battle of wits. Who will win and what will be the cost? This was a shocking way to close out the season. I was so stunned, depressed, and horrified by the conclusion of this season. It makes me yearn for Season 5 to be avaliable on DVD already! This was a dark conclusion to a depraved Season 4 of Dexter!
Grade: A+

Overall Grade: A+: My personal favorite season of Dexter that I have seen thus far. This TV series has is daring, serious, and awesome. It isn't afraid to kill off key characters and disturb you, while keeping you on the edge of your seat! It definitely makes up for the not-exactly-perfect Season 3! Absolutely perfect and gripping stuff! I was blown away and hooked throughout the entire 12 episodes. Full of tension, scares, darkness, and suspense, this was absolutely awesome! A must-see for all Dexter fans and fans of horror TV in general!

THE CANDY SHOP (Short Film Review)

2011-02-10T11:37:00.000-08:00

Directed by: Brandon McCormick

Written by: Charlie Wetzel

Running Time: 30 minutes

Watch It!: click here

The art of the short horror film is much like the art of the short horror story. It requires real talent, skill, and a strong story to get you invested in the story that will leave an impact on you long after the tale has come to it's conclusion (that's what the top-notch stories do). It brings out the best or the worst of the creative talents involved in the making of such a horror tale. THE CANDY SHOP is bar-none the greatest horror short I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing.
It's a fairy tale shot with amazing skill and dark atmosphere lurking throughout it's 30 minute running-time. It contains superior acting from everyone involved (especially Doug Jones, who plays the story's villian). The story is a gothic fairy tale (that feels like The Brothers Grimm met up with Tim Burton and hatched a plan for a beautiful, touching story that tackles the touchy subject of the sex trafficking of children).
The story itself is about a paperboy who discovers something odd is going on at the Candy Shop across the street. Creepy men go in, so do little girls, but the men come out, while the young girls never reappear. The CandyMan (Doug Jones) attempts to recruit the paperboy, and reveals the dark secrets of the Candy Shop to him. This makes for a disturbing, dark, touching story that could have easily filled a feature-length runtime.
Grade: A+: This is one of the absolute best short horror films that I have ever witnessed. It's just astonishing how fantastic this is. It's a dark fairy tale that is actually suitable for teens (or maybe even younger) who won't pick up on the deeper meaning behind this story, but there is nothing really bad content wise at all...just a disturbing atmosphere. Remarkable short film! It's avaliable to watch for free if you click on the link above!

THE HORRIBLY SLOW MURDERER WITH THE EXTREMELY INEFFICIENT WEAPON (Short Film Review)

2011-02-09T09:23:00.000-08:00

Directed by: Richard Gale

Written by: Richard Gale

Running Time: 10 minutes

Avaliable On YouTube: click here

Straight-up you should know, this is my favorite short film of ALL TIME! It's absolutely hysterical and simply amazing. Every time I am in a bad mood or down, I stick on this short film and it automatically cheers me up. It's just awesome. Jack Cucchiaio is a forensic pathologist, but one day he finds himself confronted with the biggest problem he's ever faced in his entire life. A strange man keeps hitting him with a spoon. Turns out this is not a man at all, but a mystical figure known as Ginosaji.
This Ginosaji cannot be stopped and will hit Jack with a spoon until it kills him. Simply put this is absolutely awesome. Everything about this short is perfect. The music makes it seem like an epic struggle and the acting is good from everyone involved. The sense of humor is hysterical. You will laugh so hard that you cry. This has become such a sensation on YouTube that they have spawned an online franchise out of this short. The first installment (this short film) is by far the best, though the other videos are hilarious as well! In other words, WATCH THIS SHORT FILM!

Grade: A+: This one is a must-see! It is simply awesome and the best short horror film I have ever seen. You will laugh, that much is guaranteed. If you haven't seen this video and you don't watch it right now....I will send a Ginosaji to hit you with a SPOON...again and again and again and again!....AND AGAIN! You get the point!

UNPLEASANTVILLE (Short Film Review)

2011-02-09T09:09:00.000-08:00

Directed by: Colton Tran

Written by: Colton Tran, Carl Joglar

Running Time: 18 minutes

Child-friendly horror can range from good to downright terrible. Where does Colton Tran's UNPLEASANTVILLE (which played before WEREWOLF FEVER at 2010's Salty Horror Film Festival) stand? It's somwhere inbetween. Part of this may be my own personal stance though. I hate when something is too cutesy and UNPLEASANTVILLE definitely got too cutesy every now and then.
It definitely has an original story and you have to respect that! It was also directed with skill and was beautifully shot. If I didn't know better this looked and felt like a big budget production that was made for children. I don't mean that in a derogatory way, but I just didn't dig how (I can't really think of a better word) cutesy it was. There were a few moments that made me laugh though and it was directed with skill.

Grade: B-: This is one for the youngins, so not all horror fans will dig it. However, it was made with geniune love and affection, that definitely comes across to the audience watching the film. I may not have enjoyed it as much as other horror shorts I've seen, but it was aimed for the younger audience, therefore if you have a youngin then you should show this short to them. I guarantee it will keep them entertained and not make you want to claw your eyes out (like most kids shows today).

THE LEGEND OF BEAVER DAM (Short Film Review)

2011-02-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

Directed by: Jerome Sable

Written by: Jerome Sable, Eli Batalion

Running Time: 12 minutes

"Who's afraid of Stumpy Sam? The one-armed ghost of Beaver Dam! Who dares to say his name three times? Stumpy Sam! Stumpy Sam! Stumpy Sam!" After a campfire story summons a demonic killer ghost it is up to one nerdy kid to save his fellow campers! This short played in front of the feature film HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN at Sundance this year and I'm sure the audience would agree it was better than HOBO (which though great, did not match up to the level of awesome that this short contains)!
It's a unique short as well, because it's actually a musical. It's a slasher/ghost story musical and I haven't seen too many of those. The songs are pretty cool and when combined with the laugh-out-loud moments in this short, along with the great gore. It makes for fantastic fun! The acting from everyone was good. The gore is insane, there is really cool conclusion and it has some of the most creative swearing I've ever heard. In other words, as soon as this hits a public release (YouTube or a DVD) you should definitely give it a watch!

Grade: A: I would absolutely love to see a feature length LEGEND OF BEAVER DAM film, but part of the reason this short is so awesome might be because it's only 12 minutes. Definitely check this out! It's one of the best short horror films I've ever seen!

TREEVENGE (Short Film Review)

2011-02-09T08:47:00.000-08:00

Directed by: Jason Eisener

Written by: Rob Cotterill, Jason Eisener

Running Time: 16 minutes

Avaliable on YouTube: click here

Christmas is a time for joy, giving, and happiness...that is unless you're a Christmas Tree! TREEVENGE opens on a landscape of a forest in the winter. All is peaceful, happy, until a bunch of foul-mouted, evil lumberjacks come in and cut down all the trees abusing them and even stepping on a little baby tree! The trees are then taken to a place to be sold into slavery of being decorated for the "joyous" holiday season! Soon...they decide enough is enough and take a gore-soaked, bloody revenge!
Simply put, this is definitely an acquired taste short. It's about killer trees killing people in horrible ways. If that sounds good to you, then you will love this short! It's blood-soaked and insanely un-PC! One scene near the conclusion will make your jaw hit the floor! I will say nothing more, you will know it when you see it!

Grade: A-: This is better than most of the feature-length Christmas horror films! Definitely worth a look. It's just an insane horror short! Be prepared for something shocking and darkly hilarious!

MIME MASSACRE (Short Film Review)

2011-02-09T08:33:00.000-08:00

Directed by: Colin Decker

Written by: Colin Decker

Running Time: 7 minutes

Avaliable to watch on YouTube: click here

"A wild imagination can be a dangerous thing...but deadly?" states the opening narrator for this cool, little short film. A man busts into a room filled with mimes practicing their routines and begins taking them down one by one with an arsenal of various imaginary weapons. What follows is a funny good time loaded with violence and good humor. It's definitely a morbid sense of humor, but it is definitely there. This short also contains some really cool special effects. There is pretty much just 40 seconds worth of dialogue, the rest is just told through music, but this approach worked really well!
Grade: B: Check this film out, it's under 10 minutes and avaliable to watch for free on YouTube! This one comes recommended if you want to laugh and have a good time with your buddies!

THE ROOMMATE (2011)

2011-02-05T07:13:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: USA

USA Release: Friday, February 4, 2011 (Wide Theatrical)

How I Saw It: Movie Theater

(Friday, February 4, 2011) (Jordan Landing) (8:00 pm)

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for Violence, Language, Gore, and Sex

Running Time: 1 hour 33 minutes

Directed by: Christian E. Christiansen

Written by: Sonny Mallhi

Starring: Minka Kelly, Leighton Meester, Cam Gigandet

You know some of those films, that you know every single thing that's going to happen, but you still kind of like them. I am going to set things straight from the get-go...THE ROOMMATE is purely pre-teen fodder that will frighten those 12-years old and younger who have never even heard of SINGLE WHITE FEMALE (of which this movie basically rips off). However, it reminded me a lot of 2009's THE STEPFATHER (or stretching it a little, 2007's DISTURBIA, which for the record, is an infinitely better film). Being a hardened horror fan I could call every single event, scene, action-taken-by-the-characters that was going to happen miles before the movie came across that territory.

In case you can't figure it out from the title alone, THE ROOMMATE tells the story of Sara who has just entered a college in downtown LA. She is staying in one of the dorms on campus, meets a drummer (played by the always talented Cam Gigandet, who has been in a ton of horror-fare recently), and finally meets her roommate (named Rebecca) who turns out to be a little too obsessive and wants Sara all to herself.

You can probably tell just from this synopsis and the trailer, every single thing that is going to happen. This film is a blatant ripoff of SINGLE WHITE FEMALE. It's pretty ridiculous how the writer/director haven't been sued for copyright infringement. There are lots of cheap jump-scares that abound in this film, the acting ranges from good to quite terrible, and a lot of scenes get ridiculously over-the-top. I will state for the record, the fate of the kitten that Sara finds is quite awesome (and arguably my favorite part of the film)!

What else is there to say about THE ROOMMATE? It has hot girls (for all you guys out there, me included). The word "predictable" does not describe how...predictable this movie is though. But much like THE STEPFATHER remake, I thought there were equal good qualities with the film. For example, it is beautifully shot, pretty ballsy at points (the kitten, that's all I'm sayin') and though being mostly a guilty pleasure, I thought it was decently executed. There are definitely big flaws, but it entertains (mostly in a trashy, predictable way) and isn't that what makes movies enjoyable...entertainment?

Grade: C: If you see the trailer or read a brief synopsis, you already will know what is going to happen. However, this wasn't a bad film. There are things to like about it and things to hate about it. At the end of the day, I found entertainment in it (if for the wrong reasons) and enjoyed it more than it should probably have been enjoyed. For that, I can say this is a good one to introduce your pre-teen to, if they are interested in the horror genre. Can't say I would wholly recommend this movie, but it definitely isn't as bad as people are making it out to be and those who stick through may find themselves surprised at the end of the day.

THE RITE (2011)

2011-02-05T06:40:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: USA

USA Release: Friday, January 28, 2011 (Wide Theatrical)

How I Saw It: Movie Theater

(Friday, February 4, 2011) (Jordan Landing) (5:10 pm)

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for Violence, Gore, and Language

Running Time: 1 hour 52 minutes

Directed by: Mikael Håfström

Written by: Michael Petroni

(Based on a book by Matt Baglio)

Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Colin O'Donoghue, Alice Braga

Along with alien and found footage movies, exorcism films seem to be released more frequently in the last few years. To name just a few EXORCISMUS, THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE, THE LAST EXORCISM, the list goes on. Most of these range from okay to pure crap. Where does the Anthony Hopkins and Michael Hafstrom (director of the awesome Stephen King adaptation, 1408) combination called THE RITE end up? It's in the crap section!

When Michael Kovak goes to a college to become a priest, he plans on resigning shortly after getting all the education he needs for any other non-religious career he wants. When guilt forces him into attending an exorcism course which is taught in Rome, he finds himself dealing with his own emotions and possibly some very real demonic possessions. He goes to Lucas Trevant (played by Anthony Hopkins) to witness real-life exorcisms. When Lucas himself gets possessed by a powerful demon, it is up to Michael to build up his faith and save the day, also with some help from a female reporter who doesn't do much of anything. This movie blows!

Anthony Hopkins is by far the best thing about this film, but he has really just been playing the same menacing character over and over (THE WOLFMAN, HANNIBAL, FRACTURE, etc.). This movie has a really well-done beginning and stands out from most of the other modern exorcism movies by letting you decide if the possessions are real or purely psychological. It completely backhands this approach when we see Anthony Hopkins whip out a demonically possessed frog from a pillow case and chuck it in a fire.

There are things to like about this film, but they get bogged down by everything else (which sucks). In the films second half, it plays out with the same old cliche's of every exorcism movie known to man. There was also a possessed mule (with glowing red eyes). I can see a scene of that working comedically in something like DRAG ME TO HELL, but when the mule showed up and was supposedly terrifying, I was in hysterics. Also, the best part of this film happens in the second half...a possessed Anthony Hopkins backhands a little girl...one word...AWESOME! Unfortunately, child abuse at the hands of Anthony Hopkins is as good as this film gets. It's too long, boring, pretty poorly written, and has some truly awful effects work. In other words, THE RITE is an example of everything that sucks with Hollywood horror movies these days.

Grade: D: Starting off with real promise, THE RITE follows the cliche'-ridden path of typical, predictable, exorcism scarefare. The acting sucks (from everyone except Anthony Hopkins, Toby Jones, and Rutger Hauer, the other two playin in mere brief minutes of screentime. THE RITE wants to be this generations THE EXORCIST, instead it turns into a forgettable, lame, and stupid tale that had me rolling my eyes nearly every two minutes. Not recommended.

F.E.A.R. (PC)

2011-02-03T08:57:00.000-08:00

Genre: First-Person Shooter

Platforms: PC, Xbox 360, PS3

Developer: Monolith Productions

Publisher: Vivedi Universal

Release Date: October 17, 2005

There are a lot of things that scare me in this world. Heights, small spaces or even talking to the opposite sex to name a few. But above anything else, I’m scared of little girls with dark hair in front of their faces, preferably Asian. F.E.A.R. takes a cue from such films as THE RING and does a very effective job at mimicking that same atmosphere that you see in oh so many ghost movies.

Even though the atmosphere of the game is amazing, the story is so-so at best and it’s not told very well. You take control over the most recent recruit of the First Encounter Assault Recon or, F.E.A.R. for short. Your first assignment with the team is to take out a cannibalistic serial killer named Fettel. Your chase turns in to an all out war when you find out that Fettel is protected by cloned soldiers (!) and that there’s a little ghost girl running around haunting you. The story barley makes a lick of sense and it’s defiantly the weakest part of the game.

At its core, F.E.A.R. is a corridor shooter. All your standard weapons are here (machine gun, pistols etc) so in that sense, it’s more of the same. But what makes the gameplay really fun and interesting is the implementation of bullet time. It sounds cliché but here it actually helps the gameplay and does not feel like a gimmick. See, the AI in F.E.A.R. is simply amazing. Enemies will work together to try and flank you or draw you into the open. So the bullet time is very helpful when you need to get out of a bad situation.

For a game that came out in 2005, the graphics hold up pretty well. The environments are all pretty boring though. You go through abandoned warehouses, office buildings and research facilities that all look very similar. But the game runs smoothly and except for some physics bugs playing F.E.A.R. is a very polished experience. Also, gore. Lots of it.

Grade B+ : F.E.A.R. is a lot of fun and has great atmosphere it’s just a shame the story couldn’t hold everything together.

DEAD SILENCE (2007)

2011-01-31T09:19:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: USA

USA Release: Friday, March 16, 2007 (Wide Theatrical)

How I Saw It: My Own DVD

MPAA Rating: R for Violence, Gore, and Language

Running Time: 1 hour 31 minutes

Directed by: James Wan

Written by: Leigh Whannell

Starring: Ryan Kwanten, Donnie Wahlberg, Michael Fairman, Bob Gunton, Judith Roberts

James Wan and Leigh Whannel are a dynamic duo when it comes to creating horror movies. They made SAW together, they created this film together, and have created a new film (titled INSIDIOUS, headed for theaters April 1) that has received lots of rave reviews from horror sites. Rather than do another serial killer (or "torture-porn" if you prefer to call it that) horror flick after SAW, they decided to make a hybrid of a ghost story/killer doll film. This film flew under-the-radar with most horror fans and those who did review it didn't care too much for it. On the other hand, I dig DEAD SILENCE!

The movie plays out like a classic Universal horror film from the black-and-white era (it even opens with an old-school Universal logo). After the grisly unsolved murder of his wife, Jamie Ashen returns to his home town only to discover that a ghost story from the town's murderous past (about an elderly ventriloquist named Mary Shaw) is claiming victims left and right! Adding more problems to his slate, an annoying detective (played by Donnie Wahlberg) is placing him as the number 1 suspect in his wife's murder! Who exactly is killing the victims though? The signs point towards Shaw's ventriloquist dummies (which may or may not have a life of their own).

First off, this is not a perfect film. It is a blast of good, spooky fun that feels very much like a well-told ghost tale from one of those Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark books (I mean that in the highest compliment possible) that you read when you were far too young to be reading such things. The cast are all pretty good (the acting ranges from decent to great). The effects get a little too cheesy when aided with too much CGI, but the look of the film is phenomenal. James Wan clearly cares about atmosphere and it shows.

On another note, I have no real clue why this movie is rated R. There are some deaths (but the gore is mostly kept off-screen). I guess there was enough bloodshed to get the R rating if you want to nitpick, but this is a light R-rated movie that doesn't have a whole lot of cursing or too much violence. There are some well-executed scares that will give you the chills here and there. You can feel some studio interference with this movie too, where it never reaches the fever-pitch of terror that it could have. There is still plenty here to warrant a recommendation though.

Grade: B: A spooky, funhouse ride put to film, DEAD SILENCE is a good film that hearkens back to the old-school scares from the classic Universal horror films. It has a thick atmosphere, creative writing (including a GREAT ending), and is just a fun time! This one comes recommended!

DAWN OF THE DEAD (2004)

2011-01-30T20:23:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: USA/Canada/Japan/France

USA Release: Friday, March 19, 2004

How I Saw It: My Own DVD

MPAA Rating: R for Violence, Gore, Sex, Nudity, and Language

Running Time: 1 hour 41 minutes

Directed by: Zack Snyder

Written by: James Gunn

(Based off the 1978 screenplay by George A. Romero)

Starring: Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Jake Weber

Remaking a George A. Romero movie is a bold move! Tom Savini's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD remake kinda sorta blew and the DAY OF THE DEAD remake is absolutely horrid. How does the Zack Snyder directed (300, WATCHMEN, SUCKER PUNCH) and James Gunn written (SLITHER) DAWN OF THE DEAD remake hold up? Besides being the best zombie remake of all-time (not a huge compliment), it is one of the best zombie movies of the last decade!

Once the zombie apocalypse hits, a group of survivors board themselves up in a shopping mall. With the days passing by (and still no help coming) they try to formulate a plan to escape from the zombie-infested area! Despite the best efforts, it may not be the zombies they have to worry about but rather each other!

This is a remake that definitely doesn't surpass the original (which is a horror classic), but has it's own identity as a different film that has a basic outline of the original but stands out strong. The cast all put in great performances and make their characters stand out. We get great writing that strongly develops them without giving too much exposition at once. We root for these people to survive and beat the zombie menace! Which makes it all the more devastating when someone bites the big one! The film isn't without its flaws though, some characters make idiotic decisions that makes you ask "Why?!"

This movie also gets extremely dark at points and (although having a sense of humor) ratchets up the tension and the scares over and over again. It is a well-paced, gory, thrill-ride of a zombie tale. Some people may not be able to seperate it from the Romero classic, but those who can will be rewarded with one of the best zombie films of the last decade.

Grade: B+: DAWN OF THE DEAD sparked the resurgence of the modern, serious zombie movie! It should be respected for that alone! With quality acting, good writing, excellent scares and tension, this movie is a blast! Well worth your time. Not without it's flaws, but the good far outweighs the bad! Recommended!

TROLL HUNTER (To Be Released) (Sundance 2011 Review)

2011-01-29T01:57:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: Norway

USA Release: Not Yet Released

How I Saw It: Movie Theater (Sundance 2011 Screening)

(Friday, January 28, 2011) (Tower) (11:59 pm)

MPAA Rating: Not Rated (contains Violence, Gore, and Language)

Running Time: 1 hour 43 minutes

Directed by: André Øvredal

Written by: André Øvredal

Starring: Otto Jespersen, Hans Morten Hansen, Tomas Alf Larson, Johanna Mørck

Do you like originality? Do you like found footage films? Then you should definitely check out TROLL HUNTER which delivers both in equal amounts! A film from Norway, TROLL HUNTER boasts some of the best special effects I've seen in ages. You will believe that trolls really do exist by just watching the beasts roam around in this movie!

The story is told from the point-of-view of a video camera which is being used by 3 college students who are attempting to track down a suspected poacher. When said poacher is revealed to actually be an badass who's job is to hunt down trolls and exterminate them (if they cause any destruction), he is more than happy to invite the students to capture his job on their camera. With this job comes certain risks though, seeing as there are different types of trolls and some range to be around 300-500 feet tall!

TROLL HUNTER is the first movie of it's kind to come along since CLOVERFIELD. This is essientally a monster movie told from a found footage perspective. The acting is great from everyone involved and we buy their characters, especially that of the Troll Hunter himself! This movie has a fantastic sense of humor as well. I can't remember the last time a horror film made me crack up this hard. Things brought up early in the film make appearances later on and it makes you realize how clever and fun this movie is!

The only real flaw I can find in this film would have to be the pacing. There were long moments in between the action scenes that seemed to drag for quite a while. If say 5 minutes were cut, it would've seemed like a tighter film. Also, there isn't anything too nasty, disturbing, or dark for the PG-13 crowd either. I can easily see this movie making it out of the MPAA with a PG-13 (seeing as no nudity, no sex, and no real strong profanity used). One last thing I would like to touch on, again, are the effects. They are absolutely astounding! This is what CGI was made for people!

Grade: A-: TROLL HUNTER is a fun rollercoaster ride of a movie! Sometimes, it does take a while to pick up the pace, but it definitely makes up for it when the troll action is going on! With incredible effects, jaw-droppingly awesome scenes, clever writing, and good acting from everyone involved...TROLL HUNTER comes highly recommended!

THE WOMAN (To Be Released) (Sundance 2011 Review)

2011-01-27T23:37:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: USA

USA Release: Not Yet Released

How I Saw It: Movie Theater (Sundance 2011 Screening)

(Thursday, January 27, 2011) (Tower) (9:00 pm)

MPAA Rating: Not Rated (contains Violence, Gore, Nudity, Sex, and Language)

Running Time: 1 hour 48 minutes

Directed by: Lucky McKee

Written by: Jack Ketchum, Lucky McKee

Starring: Pollyanna McIntosh, Sean Bridgers, Angela Bettis, Lauren Ashley Carter, Zach Rand

While OFFSPRING (which was a sequel to the novel OFF SEASON by Jack Ketchum, but made into a stand-alone film) was pretty much a mixed bag, the newest Jack Ketchum adaptation (which is directed by modern horror master Lucky McKee) is quite a different story. THE WOMAN has already sparked some controversy online with a video of a disgruntled (and frankly idiotic) patron who claimed the movie should be banned and burned. Does it live up to it's already notorious reputation or is it a hype machine at work?

Chris Cleek is a seemingly nice guy. He is a lawyer who has a wife, two daughters, and a son. Turns out he also has a darker side to him, because one day (while hunting in the woods) Chris comes across a savage woman who is weak, wounded, and vulnerable. So he does what seems like the best idea he can think of...he captures and chains her in the basement with the intention of civilizing her. But it's not a solo mission, Chris wants the whole family to participate. This leads to sinister deeds, dark revelations about how this "perfect" American family may indeed have a dark side (but don't we all).

This is easily Lucky McKee's best film since MAY. It's also the best film based on a Jack Ketchum novel since THE LOST. Part of the reason that it works so well is because it's a slow-burn through most of the film, yet it still is effective and scary. No real gore is shown, save for 1-2 scenes, until the climax. That doesn't mean the intensity is non-existent until we see some gore though. On the contrary, most of the family interactions (particularly with Chris, who will not be winning world's greatest dad award anytime soon) are uncomfortable and downright terrifying to watch at points. Another point is how cleverly the film is written, everything has a purpose and comes into play. At some points, you may think "that was random", but the beauty is it's not. It's a wonderfully smart and well-constructed film!

The acting from everyone is absolutely amazing. I can't pick one performance out above the others, because each actor and actress makes the character their own and we believe their reactions and emotions for the entire film. I can definitely see where the controversy and people leaving upset comes with this movie though. It IS based off a Jack Ketchum novel (his stories are always severely disturbing) and Lucky McKee creates some absolutely amazingly scary movies. This definitely isn't for the weak of stomach or faint of heart. When it gets gory...it gets messy. When it is disturbing...you will want to take a shower.

Grade: A+: An absolutely amazing horror film that will shake you to the core. Far better than OFFSPRING, this ranks among the best Jack Ketchum films and is Lucky McKee's best since MAY. You may not like where it hits you (obviously certain people haven't) but you cannot deny the impact it will leave with you. You will be disturbed and frightened by the time the movie ends. This one comes highly recommended! See it when you can!

ALL YOUR DEAD ONES (To Be Released) (Sundance 2011 Review)

2011-01-27T18:04:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: Colombia

USA Release: Not Yet Released

How I Saw It: Movie Theater (Sundance 2011 Screening)

(Thursday, January 27, 2011) (Broadway Centre) (3:45 pm)

MPAA Rating: Not Rated (contains Language, Sex, and Nudity)

Running Time: 1 hour 28 minutes

Directed by: Carlos Moreno

Written by: Carlos Moreno, Alonso Torres

Starring: Alvaro Rodriguez

With a dynamite premise that promised some serious suspense and conspiracy (maybe supernatural) theories to be involved. ALL YOUR DEAD ONES is about a cross-eyed farmer who discovers a pile of dead bodies in his crops. He has no idea how the bodies got there and who they even are. What he does know is that no one he tells seems remotely concerned and if they are concerned, it isn't for the right reasons.

This looked like it had some real potential and could have been much more enjoyable if based off a better script. I get that there were metaphors in this film that represent the trouble happening in Colombia right now. It was way too artsy fartsy though, and I'm the guy that loved Lars Von Trier's ANTICHRIST. Also NOTHING HAPPENED FOR THE ENTIRE RUNNING TIME!

The running time seemed to go forever too, but in fact it was less than 90 minutes. The whole movie and plot consisted of "What do we do with the bodies?" *menacing look* "I don't know." *returns menacing look* Also they put the bodies in a truck, take them out of the truck, put them back in the truck, and FINALLY (SPOILER ALERT) they move the bodies to another place!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I at least wanted some resolution!

The jokes (despite maybe having 5-6 geniune laughs) mostly fall flat on the ground with no chance of getting back up! The acting was pretty terrible from everyone involved, though the lead actor was great as a guy who has no idea what the hell is going on and simply giving people puzzled looks with his cross-eyes.

Grade: D: I can see ALL YOUR DEAD ONES succumbing to one of two fates. I can see this one not getting a release in the USA anytime soon and being called a failure...or I can see it being hailed as the new movie that the "cool hipsters" love and state that if you don't like it then you don't "get" it. I got it, just really thought it was badly done and not entertaining in the slightest. This one is definitely not recommended!

OFFSPRING (2009)

2011-01-26T09:23:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: USA

USA Release: October 6, 2009 (DVD)

How I Saw It: My Own DVD

MPAA Rating: R for Violence, Gore, Sex, Nudity, and Language

Running Time: 1 hour 19 minutes

Directed by: Andrew Van Den Houten

Written by: Jack Ketchum

(Based on the novel by Jack Ketchum)

Starring: Art Hindle, Erick Kastel, Kelly Carey, Pollyanna McIntosh

I love cannibal films. I also love anything written by Jack Ketchum. OFFSPRING (which has spawned a sequel titled THE WOMAN, which is playing Sundance 2011 as we speak) is a combination of both! OFFSPRING has some really good stuff dwelling within it's short and sweet running time, but in the parts where the movie should really shine (the actual cannibals) it becomes far too silly and laughable.

The story follows a couple and their visiting friends (a mother, young son, and baby daughter) as they struggle to deal with the problems of everyday life. These problems include naked chicks showing up on their lawn, an abusive ex-husband of the friend, and savage, primitive cannibals who want to torture, rape, and eat them, especially the young baby girl. Can the family survive these difficult times? Will the baby live? Will the elderly sheriff who seems hellbent on taking these cannibals down get his wish of shooting them all himself? Seeing as this is a Jack Ketchum movie, some will die and the darkness inside of those who survive will be revealed.

First off, there are some major flaws with this film. It is actually based off a book that was a sequel to another novel about cannibals called OFF SEASON. Why didn't they actually make OFF SEASON into a movie first, so we as the audience could know what in the world is going on? The world may never know, but it seems like an idiotic move! Also, the look of the cannibals is so hysterically bad. I mean the adult man and woman look intimidating, but the kids just look silly in their bad wigs and facepaint.

Now the good, this is a really disturbing film at points. I found the stuff that worked more effectively was when the "civilized" people were showing the depravity that lied within them in dire situations. The gore is pretty insane as well. The performances are really solid too. Especially that of The Man and The Woman (the two adult cannibals). When this movie gets dark, it gets DARK! You can definitely tell that this is Ketchum material (he also wrote RED, THE GIRL NEXT DOOR, and THE LOST, all of which range from great to amazing)!

Grade: C+: While it definitely has some pitfalls and failures, it also has some real oustanding points. The performances are solid across the board. The gore is effective when used and there is geniune evil in all of us which is shown in the film. The sequel to this movie written by both Jack Ketchum and Lucky McKee has already caused some controversy at Sundance 2011. Expect a review for that film (titled THE WOMAN) right after I see a screening of it on Thursday night!

RED STATE (Review by Brian Higgins) (To Be Released) (Sundance 2011 Review)

2011-01-25T15:36:00.000-08:00

Kevin Smith cops out with a couple of dick jokes too far. Pushing him into a new realm of mature film.

To say RED STATE is brave filmmaking in sense of content, in my opinion, is untrue as artists should not be afraid of box office returns or critics or picket signs. I will say the techniques used in the film are very brave from a director who normally ploughs the lowest form of humour in toilet jokes. Techniques such as a single shot solid frame 5 and a half minute monolgue. Horrific jarring deaths and wonderful dialogue.

Based on hate-preaching Pastor Fred Phelps, Smith talked about the genesis of the film being sitting in a theatre in 1995 watching FROM DUSK TIL DAWN and being so impressed by Michael Parks. Thinking to himself how will I ever work with him? Then a few years back he met Malcolm Ingram director of Small Town Gay Bar, who had interviewed Phelps for the film. So they traded interview tapes and concluded that the interviews were terrifying due to the fact that Phelps looks and talks like your Grandpa but thinks like Hitler. Based on these two moments, Smith wrote the first draft of "State" in 3 days and sent it to Ingram who in turn, dared him to make the film.

Kevin refers to it as a horror film but I think he is being coi and maybe modest. Maybe I am reading into it too much or being a pretentious film critic but I feel in years to come Red State will be viewed side by side with Chaplin's THE GREAT DICTATOR as an analogy of how ridiculous these people are and they should be dealt with.

Red State can sit proud amongst any great works of the Coens and I hope to see Smith continue to explore this new side of his cinematic journey.

I give it an A-

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN (To Be Released) (Sundance 2011 Review)

2011-01-23T01:37:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: Canada

USA Release: Friday, May 6, 2011 (Limited Theatrical)

How I Saw It: Movie Theater (Sundance 2011 Screening)

(Saturday, January 22, 2011) (Broadway Centre) (11: 59 pm)

MPAA Rating: Not Rated (contains Violence, Gore, Language, and Nudity)

Running Time: 1 hour 26 minutes

Directed by: Jason Eisener

Written by: John Davies

Starring: Rutger Hauer, Molly Dunsworth, Brian Downey

Inspired by a fake trailer that won a contest to make the best Grindhouse trailer, HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN faced the same problem that many modern exploitation films do when being created. Can a film being created specifically for a midnight audience crowd be a modern "Grindhouse" classic? Despite the obvious success (GRINDHOUSE) few films can do this purposely and well at the same time. One that springs to mind is the well-made and legitmately good film (but still underwhelming) MACHETE. Does HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN fair any better?

The story follows a hobo who arrives in a new city only to find it overrun by criminals, murderers, rapists, and all sorts of other scumbags. After witnessing these terrible events happening around the city, he decides to take justice into his own hands. He becomes a hobo with a shotgun! The criminals (notably the city's nastiest villian known as The Drake) aren't too pleased with finding a hero in their midst and it becomes an all out bloodbath of carnage, justice, and awesome one-liners.

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN may not live up to how awesome the trailer looked for it, but it is still damn entertaining. Rutger Hauer (in the title role) is simply great as a hobo who kicks ass one shell at a time, frightens babies by telling them that if they grow up in this city then they will all be horrible people, and rants about bears to a hooker with a heart of gold. Everyone else in the film ranges from decent to annoying.

The plot itself is pretty original and has a surprisingly disturbing, dark tone around it that definitely took me aback while viewing it. No one is safe in this movie. Not children, handicapped, or homeless. It felt like a really well-done, take-no-prisoners experience that had me laughing at one minute and saying "that's just not right" at the next. The gore is in full-swing here with loads and loads of deaths, shotgun blasts (duh), and various other means of biting the big one.

Grade: B+: Overall, HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN could have been more, but what we get is still a great throwback to 70s and 80s grindhouse cinema. Entertaining, darkly hilarious, disturbing at points, and insanely violent, HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN is a movie that automatically tells you if it is meant for your eyes or not. If it sounds like a movie you would enjoy, then you will probably have a blast, but if it sounds like the worst thing you've ever heard of, then stay away. This is an acquired taste film, but if you are thirsting for Rutger Hauer kicking ass with a shotgun, then this one comes highly recommended!

I SAW THE DEVIL (2011) (Sundance 2011 Review)

2011-01-21T23:42:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: South Korea

USA Release: March 4, 2011 (Limited Theatrical)

How I Saw It: Movie Theater (Sundance 2011 Screening)

(Friday, January 21, 2011) (Tower) (9:00 pm)

MPAA Rating: Not Rated (contains Violence, Gore, Nudity, Language, and Sex)

Running Time: 2 hours 21 minutes

Directed by: Ji-Woon Kim

Written by: Hoon-Jung Park

Starring: Byung-Hun Lee, Min-Sik Choi, San-Ha Oh, Yoon-Seo Kim

For a while now I have been hearing about the heavily-hyped, ultra-violent Korean revenge flick titled I SAW THE DEVIL. How awesome, dark, and brutal it was? So many times, hype leads to disappointment, but after seeing I SAW THE DEVIL (screening at Sundance this year) I can safely say that it lives up to every word of praise it has received thus far...and then some!

I SAW THE DEVIL is about a man who's pregnant fiancee' is murdered by a sadistic rapist/serial killer. The man (who also happens to be a cop) tracks down the killer and stalks, repeatedly injures and mutilates him in some truly nasty ways. But this serial killer isn't one to lay back and take this crap without a fight. What follows is an intricate cat-and-mouse game between one monster and another-soon-to-be-monster. Many bodies pile up, much blood is shed, and both of their lives will never be the same.

I SAW THE DEVIL is simply the best film of its kind to come along in ages. It's twisted, brilliant, and sadistic as they come. There were moments where I thought the movie was going to take an easy-way out or become a little too ridiculous, but then it would gut-punch me with another shock, murder, or twist. With two seriously well-developed leads, we get a battle of wits and violence that pushes both men to their limits.

This movie also has a sick sense of humor during moments, but it's never too jarring or out of place. It just relieves the tension a little and then we get right back into it. The acting is quite incredible and we see the better of the two "monsters" go through quite the array of emotions. Also, what a way to end the movie. Most satisfying conclusion in a long time. The gore is quite plentiful here too, this movie may have a hard time getting an R rating with the violence alone. It was unflinching and brutally realistic.

Grade: A+: An amazing revenge film that puts the audience through the wringer. I SAW THE DEVIL is one of the best films of it's kind to come along in ages. Building real tension, containing some insane scenes of violence and covered with a dark, brooding atmosphere, this movie is a masterpiece of filmmaking. A must-see!

Coverage of 2011's SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL!

2011-01-19T22:41:00.000-08:00

FILM REVIEWS

TROLL HUNTER

(Screens Friday, Jan. 21 at 6:00 pm,

Saturday, Jan. 22 at 11:30 pm,

Tuesday, Jan. 25 at 11:59 pm,

Friday, Jan. 28 at 11:59 pm,

and Saturday, Jan. 29 at 10:00 pm)

I SAW THE DEVIL
(Screens Friday, Jan. 21 at 9:00 pm,

Saturday, Jan. 22 at 11:30 pm,

Sunday, Jan. 23 at 9:00 pm,

Thursday, Jan. 27 at 2:45 pm,

Saturday, Jan. 29 at 9:00 pm,

and Sunday, Jan. 30 at 4:00 pm)

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN
(Screens Friday, Jan. 21 at 11:30 pm,

Saturday, Jan. 22 at 11:59 pm,

Wednesday, Jan. 26 at 11:30 am,

Friday, Jan. 28 at 11:30 pm,

and Saturday, Jan. 29 at 11:59 pm)

RED STATE (Review by Brian Higgins)
(Screens Sunday, Jan. 23 at 6:30 pm,
and Monday, Jan. 24 at 8:30 am)

THE WOMAN
(Screens Sunday, Jan. 23 at 11:30 pm,

Wednesday, Jan. 26 at 10:00 pm,

Thursday, Jan. 27 at 9:00 pm,

and Saturday, Jan. 29 at 11:30 pm)

ALL YOUR DEAD ONES
(Screens Tuesday, Jan. 25 at 3:00 pm,

Wednesday, Jan. 26 at 11:59 pm,

Thursday, Jan. 27 at 3:45 pm,

Friday, Jan. 28 at 5:30 pm,

and Saturday, Jan. 29 at 12:00 pm)

THE HILLS RUN RED (2009)

2011-01-17T07:11:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: USA

USA Release: Tuesday, September 29, 2009 (DVD)

How I Saw It: My Own DVD

MPAA Rating: R for Violence, Gore, Sex, Nudity, and Language

Running Time: 1 hour 21 minutes

Directed by: Dave Parker

Written by: John Carchietta

Starring: Sophie Monk, Tad Hilgenbrink, William Sadler, Janet Montogomery

Good modern slasher movies are hard to find, because they are in such short supply. While stuff like SORORITY ROW is fun and stuff like COLD PREY is decent, we are in dire need as horror fans to get our asses kicked by a brutal, terrifying, and fun slasher movie every now and then. Too bad the last slasher film in recent memory that did that was Wes Craven's SCREAM...until now. THE HILLS RUN RED is (dare I say it) the best slasher movie of the new millenium so far. It's that scary, fun, twisted, and awesome!

The film follows Tyler and his friends (his girlfriend, Serina , and best friend, Lalo) as they search for an obscure slasher film that seems to have vanished off the face of the Earth. All that remains of this slasher film (titled THE HILLS RUN RED) are some stills and a crudely made trailer. Tyler tracks down the director's only relative Alexa and attempts to uncover the mysterious history behind THE HILLS RUN RED. Soon enough, the four of them are heading to the deceased director's cabin in the middle of the isolated woods...only to discover that the film not only exists, but it never stopped filming and the kills (and the killer) are very real!

This is one hell of a horror film! We get characters that we are built up to care about, so when horrible things happen to them (oh, trust me, they do happen) we sympathize and want to see them survive. The movie is also really well-shot and well-made! I am baffled this didn't get at least a limited theatrical run. It's that good! The writing is smart and there are definitely some surprises to be had before the grim-as-they-come ending and the haunting theme plays over the closing credits.

Something should also be said for the look of Babyface (the main villian) this guy is absolutely nightmare-inducing. I definitely want to own an action figure of him in the future. The gore and violence definitely push the envelope, though I hear there is a longer uncut version that didn't get released. The acting from everyone is realistic and solid. This is anything but your typical, predictable slasher movie! I loved every gruesome second of this film!

Grade: A-: Easily, the best slasher movie to come out in the 2000s! This is how it's done people! With some solid acting, insane violence, good characters, geniunely frightening moments, and fantastic writing, this one has everything a horror fan could possibly want. This is a must-see!

STUCK (2008)

2011-01-16T19:32:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: Canada/USA/UK/Germany

USA Release: Friday, May 30, 2008 (Limited Theatrical)

How I Saw It: My Own DVD

MPAA Rating: R for Violence, Gore, Language, Sex, and Nudity

Running Time: 1 hour 25 minutes

Directed by: Stuart Gordon

Written by: John Strysik

Starring: Mena Suvari, Stephen Rea, Russell Hornsby

Based on a story so weird and stupid that it must based on a real event that happened in Florida, where woman under the influence of drugs hit a homeless man and left him stuck in her windshield in her garage until he died. This movie has changed from the real events, but it still is essientially about a man stuck in a windshield of a car. By me saying this you would think this film would be boring, you would be wrong.

Stephen Rea stars as Tom (the homeless man who has had the worst day of his life) and Mena Suvari stars as Brandi (the idiotic, drugged up driver). Also the film brings in more characters such as Brandi's friend and cheating gangsta boyfriend. This movie only lasts for the perfect running time of 85 minutes (counting credits) and was perfectly paced.

It is as much a horror movie as it is the darkest of dark comedies though. Some genuine laughs abound in this movie and the actors and actresses pull off their parts with skill. Director Stuart Gordon (RE-ANIMATOR, FROM BEYOND, DAGON) executes this movie with perfection. There is a whole lot of tension to be had too.

On the gory side of things, this movie is pretty grueling at points...it is about a man bleeding to death unless he can save himself from dying in a car windshield. Also, some of the well-deserved fates of some of the other characters are brilliant!

Grade: A: An absolute blast of dark comic genius mixed with some real-life horror! This may be one of Stuart Gordon's finest films of his entire career. Acted with skill and containing some fantastic gore, STUCK is an awesome piece of filmmaking that will have you laughing one minute and cringing the next. This one comes highly recommended!

TALES FROM THE CRYPT Season 7 (1996)

2011-01-16T11:18:00.000-08:00

Directed by: Bob Hoskins, William Malone, and many more.

Written by: Colman DeKay, A.L. Katz, Gilbert Adler, Scott Nimerfro, and many more.

Starring: Bob Hoskins, Ewan McGregor, Steve Coogan, Daniel Craig, Eddie Izzard, and many more.

This is just tragic. One of the most fun and entertaining horror anthology TV series ever made was definitely on it's last legs in this seventh (and final) season. Don't believe me, read on to get the proof!

Episode 1: FATAL CAPER (Air Date: Friday, April 19, 1996)
(based on a short story in TALES FROM THE CRYPT #20)
A group of murderous siblings kill each other off to own all of their inheritance left to them by their father. This is a horrible start to Season 7, but a good indicator of things to come. This episode was garbage and everything about it sucked, including the twists.
Grade: F

Episode 2: LAST RESPECTS (Air Date: Friday, April 26, 1996)
(based on a short story in TALES FROM THE CRYPT #23)
A modern version of The Monkey's Paw, this episode was way better when it was told in the 70's TALES FROM THE CRYPT film. It also had better writing, better acting, and more gore (and the movie was rated PG). This episode was so unbelievably awful!
Grade: F

Episode 3: A SLIGHT CASE OF MURDER (Air Date: Friday, May 3, 1996)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #33)
Another stinker! This one felt like it was a PBS TALES FROM THE CRYPT episode. It's that bad! Nothing scary or funny was even involved in this episode. Attention TALES FROM THE CRYPT you are scraping the bottom of the barrel, quit now before you do something you will regret.
Grade: F

Episode 4: ESCAPE (Air Date: Friday, May 17, 1996)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #16)
A so-so episode, which I will take anyday over the last three crap-fests, that is about a POW in Britian who finds himself in an escape plan with a fellow prisoner (who may have a few tricks up his sleave). This episode was actually didn't make me want to claw my eyes out, happy days. Not great, but tolerable with a good ending.
Grade: C+

Episode 5: HORROR IN THE NIGHT (Air Date: Friday, May 24, 1996)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #12)
Could it be, a GOOD episode among the mediocre and garbage ones? Oh joy! This one is indeed the best story of the 13 told in Season 7. It is about a murderer/thief who hides out at a hotel, only to find it isn't exactly a safe place to hide. This one actually had some real scares, tension and creepy scenes. Enjoy it while you can because this is as good as they come in this season!
Grade: B+

Episode 6: COLD WAR (Air Date: Friday, May 31, 1996)
(based on a short story in TALES FROM THE CRYPT #43)
A zombie couple encounter a vampire. This one was just LAME! L-A-M-E! Everythimg about it was lame, from the premise to the execution. Wow, what a waste of time this was!
Grade: F

Episode 7: THE KIDNAPPER (Air Date: Friday, June 7, 1996)
(based on a short story in SHOCK SUSPENSTORIES #12)
A man arranges the kidnapping of his girlfriend's baby so they can spend more time together. This was actually a rather enjoyable and good episode that stands out as one of the 4(!) good episodes in this season! It had a dark sense of humor and a pretty bleak ending. Good episode!
Grade: B

Episode 8: REPORT FROM THE GRAVE (Air Date: Friday, June 14, 1996)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #15)
This one actually had promise. It starts off really solid and spooky, but then it turns into utter crap. Besides the fact that this episodes villian looked like a rejected member of the Insane Clown Posse. Add this one to the rest of the garbage that dwells in this season!
Grade: D

Episode 9: SMOKE WRINGS (Air Date: Friday, June 21, 1996)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #34)
Daniel Craig stars in this tale about the horrifying truth behind the advertising agency. This was another geniunely good episode with a lot of surreal twists throughout. I enjoyed this one quite a bit and it stands up as a good TALE FROM THE CRYPT!
Grade: B

Episode 10: ABOUT FACE (Air Date: Friday, June 28, 1996)
(based on a short story in HAUNT OF FEAR #27)
This one actually started off with some promise but once again ends up majorly sucking! The twist ending alone is enough to ruin this entire episode and enrage the audience. Plus I called the "twist" after watching the other similar episodes of TALES FROM THE CRYPT.
Grade: F

Episode 11: CONFESSION (Air Date: Friday, July 5, 1996)
(based on a short story in SHOCK SUSPENSTORIES #4)
This one should go down as the last good episode of the entire TALES FROM THE CRYPT series. It's essentially a battle of wits between a policeman and a suspected killer. This actually had some geniune tension and suspense built up and it paid off. This was actually a great episode that is the second-best of the season.
Grade: B+

Episode 12: EAR TODAY...GONE TOMMOROW (Air Date: Friday, July 12, 1996)
(based on a short story in HAUNT OF FEAR #11)
A theif gets an ear transplant from an Owl and gets nasty side-effects. Yes, you read that right and yes, it's as stupid and idiotic as it sounds. I would say they were scraping the bottom of the barrell with this episode, but the next and final one would prove me wrong.
Grade: D-

Episode 13: THE THIRD PIG (Air Date: Friday, July 19, 1996)
This is it folks the ending of the entire TALES FROM THE CRYPT series! Man, is this one terrible. Talk about ending with a whimper. 1. This isn't even based on a E.C. Comics story. 2. It's a cartoon. 3. It sucks! This episode doesn't belong on TALES FROM THE CRYPT...it belongs on Saturday morning kids' cartoons. This one sucks end of story!
Grade: F

Overall Grade: D+: Talk about a series that was dead on it's feet! The seventh and final (thank God!) season of TALES FROM THE CRYPT is by far the worst. It doesn't even compare to the other seasons...at all. This one had 4(!) good episodes and 1 okay one. That leaves 8 episodes of pain-inducing awfulness! Wow, just wow! This was bad. If you have to see the 4 good episodes, then just rent the DVDs or something. Do not go through the entire season...like I did. This is not recommended in the slightest!

ALAN WAKE (Xbox 360)

2011-01-15T12:34:00.000-08:00

ALAN WAKE is my Game of the year 2010. Hell, it might even be one of my favorite games of all time. Remedy Entertainment (Makers behind MAX PAYNE 1 & 2) first unveiled ALAN WAKE at E3 2005. After a five year long wait the game finally came out on May 18th, 2010. The same day that RED DEAD REDEMPTION hit store shelves. ALAN WAKE came and went pretty quickly thanks to its unfortunate release date which is a shame since it’s one of the most original, scary and fun games of this console generation.

The story is definitely a mind bender. Alan Wake is a well known horror author who suffers from writers block. Him and his wife Alice goes on a vacation to the small town of Bright Falls, in hope of clearing his mind. They shack up in a beautiful house that is on top of a lake and everything seems to be perfect. Things turn bad when Alan has a fight with Alice and he leaves her alone in the dark. Alice gets dragged down into the lake by a dark presence and Alan dives in after her. Alan passes out and wakes up in a crashed car. Not sure of what’s happened, he starts looking for his wife. On the way he has to fight monsters and even objects that the dark presence has taken over.

To kill these monsters you have to shine your flashlight on them until they are weak enough for you to shoot them. You can also use flares and flash bangs to help you kill the enemies. It puts a new fun spin on the shooting.

Throughout the game there are manuscript pages from a story that Alan does not remember writing that you can pick up. There are a lot of them scattered on every stage and they are really interesting to read. They help you get a sense of the back story and on what is really going on. It’s a great collectible that motivated me to play through the game multiple times.

If there’s one thing you can criticize ALAN WAKE for its repetition. There are only four different enemy types and there’s rarely a change in the environment. You’re always walking through the forest and everything looks the same. I let both of these complaints slide for me since I never got bored of the combat and even though there’s a lot of it, the forest is beautiful and the atmosphere it creates is amazing.

The DLC for ALAN WAKE is also good although there are some platforming sections that are pretty terrible. So if you are a fan of the game (which you should be) I say pick it up.

Grade: A+ : This is an amazing game that everybody should pick up. ALAN WAKE has to whole package, fun gameplay, Great story and good visuals

TALES FROM THE CRYPT Season 6 (1994-1995)

2011-01-15T12:29:00.000-08:00

Directed by: William Malone, Mick Garris, Larry Wilson, Robert Zemeckis, and many more.

Written by: Ron Finley, A.L. Katz, Gilbert Adler, Scott Nimerfro, Colman DeKay, and many more.

Starring: Catherine O'Hara, Terry O'Quinn, Benecio Del Toro, Corey Feldman, R. Lee Ermey, Miguel Ferrer, Jake Busey, Hank Azaria, Michael Ironside, Bruce Davison, Humphrey Bogart, John Lithgow, and many more.

Another mixed bag of a season, TALES FROM THE CRYPT Season 6 has stories ranging from absolutely awesome to downright terrible. This still has some of the great TALES FROM THE CRYPT of all-time and mixes humor with scares!

Episode 1: LET THE PUNISHMENT FIT THE CRIME (Air Date: Monday, October 31, 1994)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #33)
A greedy, ambulance-chasing lawyer finds herself getting a dose of her own medicine in a courtroom from hell! This was definitely more of a dark comedy, than a straight up horror story, but it's entertaining for sure...and it also stars the mom from HOME ALONE!
Grade: B

Episode 2: ONLY SKIN DEEP (Air Date: Monday, October 31, 1994)
(based on a short story in TALES FROM THE CRYPT #38)
Directed by the same man who made the remake of HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL and PARASOMNIA, this episode is definitely a geniunely frightening tale of horror! A masked man and masked woman meet at a Halloween party and decide to have a one night stand with a few rules. These rules include no names, no faces, no details. Too bad the man feels he doesn't need to keep these rules.
Grade: A+

Episode 3: WHIRLPOOL (Air Date: Monday, October 31, 1994)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #32)
A woman keeps living the same day over and over again, the problem is it's the worst day of her life (because it's the day her life ends!). This was a silly, goofy, but oddly enjoyable episode. It wasn't great or one of the series' finer moments by any means, but I thought it was okay.
Grade: C+

Episode 4: OPERATION FRIENDSHIP (Air Date: Wednesday, November 9, 1994)
(based on a short story in TALES FROM THE CRYPT #41)
The second-worst episode of Season 6. It was just really lame, sucky and childish. I didn't care for this one at all. The plot is about a man who's only friend is imaginary. When he meets a charming psychologist, the imaginary friend isn't too thrilled. This was just a bad episode!
Grade: D-

Episode 5: REVENGE IS THE NUTS (Air Date: Wednesday, November 16, 1994)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #20)
A group of blind people at a shelter take revenge on their cruel caretaker. This was a decent episode, but I know I am biased in saying it was merely okay. I have seen the 70's TALES FROM THE CRYPT movie and there is a much darker adaptation of this story in that film. This one just got a little too over-the-top at points.
Grade: C+

Episode 6: THE BRIBE (Air Date: Wednesday, November 23, 1994)
(based on a short story in SHOCK SUSPENSTORIES #7)
A fire marshall finds himself taking a bribe from a stripclub to pay for his daughter's college education. Too bad that he wants to wipe his slate clean of this deed by burning down the club. This was a pretty good episode that was set in the real world and had a lot of twists in it. Good acting on Terry O'Quinn's part (he's from the original STEPFATHER movie).
Grade: B

Episode 7: THE PIT (Air Date: Wednesday, November 30, 1994)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #40)
Behold the worst episode of Season 6! This one is just painful to watch. It's a long-winded tale about two competing fighters' wives and their hatred for each other. It all cumulates in a twist that made me want to shoot the TV screen. This one just sucks!
Grade: F

Episode 8: THE ASSASSIN (Air Date: Wednesday, December 7, 1994)
(based on a short story in SHOCK SUSPENSTORIES #17)
A group of assassins break into a couple's home while the hubby is away. It now falls upon the wife to save the day and her husband by killing these hired guns. This was a super-fun episode with lots and lots of dark humor and an awesome, hiliarious twist ending. One of the better episodes of Season 6 for sure!
Grade: A

Episode 9: STAIRED IN HORROR (Air Date: Wednesday, December 14, 1994)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #23)
The second-best episode of Season 6! An escaped murderer finds himself in a cursed house where if an old woman ascends the stairs, then she turns young and hot. While if he ascends he becomes older and disgusting. This is one of my top 13 tales, for good reason! This episode is nothing less than a perfect horror story with a super bleak ending. Woohoo!
Grade: A+

Episode 10: IN THE GROOVE (Air Date: Wednesday, December 21, 1994)
(based on a short story in CRIME SUSPENSTORIES #21)
A radio show host decides to kill off his pesky sister while he's on the air, but there are more twists involved. This one kinda blows as well. Too predictable, lame and cliche'. Definitely one of the lesser stories of this season.
Grade: C-

Episode 11: SURPRISE PARTY (Air Date: Wednesday, December 28, 1994)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #37)
A murderer visits his father's property only to find a bunch of trespassers partying on it. This was an okay episode that did surprise me at the end. It starts off too slow though and nothing really happens until the last 5 minutes. Good writing and acting pull it up and make it a decent watch.
Grade: B-

Episode 12: DOCTOR OF HORROR (Air Date: Wednesday, January 4, 1995)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #13)
Two bumbling security guards go to work for a mad surgeon obsessed with finding how to capture the human soul from corpses. This episode was a good horror story with campy gore and silliness all over. In other words, good episode.
Grade: B

Episode 13: COMES THE DAWN (Air Date: Wednesday, January 11, 1995)
(based on a short story in HAUNT OF FEAR #26)
A vampire story set in Alaska, I will also point out this was made before 30 DAYS OF NIGHT. Good acting, scares, fantastic make-up effects and a sense of dark wit make this an awesome TALE FROM THE CRYPT!
Grade: A

Episode 14: 99 & 44/100% PURE HORROR (Air Date: Wednesday, January 18, 1995)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #23)
My personal favorite episode in this entire season! A murderous artist kills her husband once he finds out that she is cheating on him. She decides to dispose of his body in a very unique (to say the least) way. This has one of the most disgusting and disturbing scenes in TALES FROM THE CRYPT history. Seriously, this scene goes right up there with FOREVER AMBEGRIS. This also goes down as the last real example of an awesome and perfect TALES FROM THE CRYPT episode!
Grade: A+

Episode 15: YOU, MURDERER (Air Date: Wednesday, January 25, 1995)
(based on a short story in SHOCK SUSPENSTORIES #14)
A criminal who had plastic surgery (that made him look like Humphrey Bogart in this story of betrayal, murder and eyes from beyond the grave. This was a solid finish to a mixed-bag season. This one had good acting, great use of archive footage, and some really solid writing!
Grade: B+

Overall Grade: B-: Another mixed-bag season. This is still recommended for fans of the series, but you can definitely tell the well is starting to run dry. Still there are some great episodes here and there, but most of the other runs are either so-so or just lame.

TALES FROM THE CRYPT Season 5 (1993)

2011-01-14T17:11:00.000-08:00

Directed by: Gilbert Adler, Kyle MacLachlan, and many more.

Written by: A.L. Katz, Gilbert Adler, Scott Nimerfro, Ron Finley, and many more.

Starring: Tim Curry, Ed Begley Jr., Adam West, Steve Buscemi, Bill Paxton, Brad Douriff, Michael Lerner, David Paymer, Vincent Spano, Kevin Dillon, Ketih Coogan, Martin Sheen, Billy Zane, Jeffrey Jones, Brooke Shields, Clancy Brown, Costas Mandylor, Cheech Marin, John Stamos, and many more.

Hello again, kiddies! TALES FROM THE CRYPT Season 5 is now reviewed. Is it frightfully funny, deliriously demented, or just plain silly? Read on to find out!

Episode 1: DEATH OF SOME SALESMAN (Air Date: Saturday, October 2, 1993)
(based on a short story in HAUNT OF FEAR #15)
This episode is an absolute blast! Besides Season 1's AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE, this is my favorite episode of the entire series of TALES FROM THE CRYPT. A con-man posing as a salesman knocks on the door to the wrong house and finds himself facing a family of rednecks who hate salesman and have their own plans of what to do with him. Everything is absolutely perfect about this episode! Equally as chilling as it is hilarious, this episode is nothing less than stellar! Worth watching the entire season just for this one!
Grade: A+

Episode 2: AS YE SOW (Air Date: Saturday, October 2, 1993)
(based on a short story in SHOCK SUSPENSTORIES #14)
An older man suspects his much younger wife of cheating on him with a priest. Turns out he may be DEAD wrong or DEAD right! Watch the episode to find out. This was a really intense and supenseful story that had a pretty tragic ending. Disturbing stuff.
Grade: B+

Episode 3: FOREVER AMBERGRIS (Air Date: Saturday, October 2, 1993)
(based on a short story in TALES FROM THE CRYPT #44)
Usually TALES FROM THE CRYPT mixes humor and horror and it balances out perfectly. This one was just as horrifying as they come though. The darkest episode in TALES FROM THE CRYPT history, this is just disturbing! It is about two war photographers who are rivals and one takes revenge on the other, only to have it bite him in the ass. This one is the second best episode of the entire Season 5. Awesome, simply awesome!
Grade: A+

Episode 4: FOOD FOR THOUGHT (Air Date: Wednesday, October 6, 1993)
(based on a short story in TALES FROM THE CRYPT #40)
A carnival psychic, who can actually read minds, finds that his abused assistant is planning on escaping his wrath by running away with a fire-breather. He finds that though she says no to him, her mind actually says yes. The real question is...is he actually reading HER mind? This was vintage TALES FROM THE CRYPT. A mix of humor and horror with a gruesome, dark ending.
Grade: A-

Episode 5: PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN BRASS HEARSES (Air Date: Wednesday, October 13, 1993)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #27)
Two redneck, criminal brothers plan on taking revenge on an ice cream vendor who ratted one of them out. This is simply an AWESOME episode. Laugh-out-loud moments mixed with some serious tension and finally, a brilliantly twisted ending. The performances by everyone are perfect!
Grade: A

Episode 6: TWO FOR THE SHOW (Air Date: Wednesday, October 20, 1993)
(based on a short story in CRIME SUSPENSTORIES #17)
A man who has just murdered his wife finds himself tailed by an inquisitive police officer. This episode was fantastic and full of some serious tension leading up to a bizarre conclusion. Also, though the music scores are usually always excellent in these episodes, but I really dug the vibe of the soundtrack. It helped set the mood.
Grade: A-

Episode 7: HOUSE OF HORROR (Air Date: Wednesday, October 27, 1993)
(based on a short story in TALES FROM THE CRYPT #21)
Predictable, but hilariously fun! This episode is about a fraternity prank on pledges trying to get in. There were some actual scares in this episode and the ending is very cool and reminded me of the ending from an earlier episode (Season 3) MOURNIN' MESS. This was a fun time!
Grade: B+

Episode 8: WELL COOKED HAMS (Air Date: Wednesday, November 3, 1993)
(based on a short story in TALES FROM THE CRYPT #27)
A murderous magician may get more than he bargained for when he kills weird old man and steals his magic trick. Too bad it could go horribly wrong! This was a predictable, but decent episode with some good acting, but so-so writing.
Grade: B-

Episode 9: CREEP COURSE (Air Date: Wednesday, November 10, 1993)
(based on a short story in HAUNT OF FEAR #23)
A tale of betrayal, murder, and a mummy. This episode is actually a blast for the first 20 minutes and then it kinda sinks into a really lame ending. I dug most of the episode, but the ending almost ruined the entire thing. Still this is 2/3 of a creepy and fun mummy tale.
Grade: C

Episode 10: CAME THE DAWN (Air Date: Wednesday, November 17, 1993)
(based on a short story in SHOCK SUSPENSTORIES #9)
Another episode that has some good suspense and chills, but falls flat on its face in the last twist. This was kinda like a rip-off of PSYCHO (ending wise anyway). The episode does have a creepy atmosphere and some good tension, too bad it doesn't pay off.
Grade: B-

Episode 11: OIL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL (Air Date: Wednesday, November 24, 1993)
(based on a short story in TALES FROM THE CRYPT #34)
Definitely the worst episode of Season 5. This one is about a couple of con-artists whose scheme backfires on them in a very explosive way. This one was utter garbage and had no one to care for (or even hate) and the twists were just plain stupid. Fail.
Grade: D-

Episode 12: HALF-WAY HORRIBLE (Air Date: Wednesday, December 1, 1993)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #26)
A tale concerning Voodoo, Zombies, and Murder. This one actually had a good premise but due to some shoddy acting and some really dumb moments, this one winds up being the second-worst episode in the entire Season. Too bad.
Grade: C-

Episode 13: TILL DEATH DO WE PART (Air Date: Wednesday, December 8, 1993)
(based on a short story in HAUNT OF FEAR #12)
The second half of this season are were most of the so-so, crap, and merely okay episodes fall into. This one features a love-triangle between an elderly mob woman, a young mobster, and a waitress. It doesn't really fall into the pure horror category. There are things to like, but almost as many things to hate. So the finale of Season 5 is merely a so-so tale.
Grade: B-

Overall Grade: B: The first half of this season is really front-loaded with all the great, awesome, and fantastic episodes. While the later half is mostly so-so, meh, or utter crap. 5 A-grade stories, 4 B-grade horror tales, 3 C-grade mediocre ones, and one awful D-grade story. This episode is definitely a mixed bag, but I would still recommend it for the fiendish fans of the TALES FROM THE CRYPT series (of which I am one)!

DEXTER Season 3 (2008)

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Directed by: Keith Gordon, Marcos Siega, John Dahl, Ernest R. Dickerson, Steve Shill, Tim Hunter

Written by: Clyde Phillips, Melissa Rosenberg, Scott Buck, Adam Fierro, Timothy Schlattmann, Charles H. Eglee, Lauren Gussis

Starring: Michael C. Hall, Jennifer Carpenter, Lauren Velez, David Zayas, James Remar, C.S. Lee, Julie Benz, Christina Robinson, Preston Bailey, Desmond Harrington, David Ramsey, Jason Manuel Olazabal, Jimmy Smits

Dexter Season 3 is officially reviewed (with minimal to no spoilers, for this Season anyway). So will it keep the good streak going or is it a pile of garbage. Find out!
MAJOR SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2 OF DEXTER! DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN THE PREVIOUS SEASON!
We last left with Dexter saving Rita's kids (Cody and Astor) from firebug (and psycho) Lila's deadly fire. Dexter has killed Lila and Rita is back together with Dexter. Also, the Bay Harbor Butcher case was pinned on the now deceased Officer Doakes and Agent Lundy (who Debra (Dexter's sister) was in love with) has left town.

Episode 1: OUR FATHER (Air Date: Sunday, September 28, 2008)
Dexter decides to get his dear departed dad a present, a drug dealer/murderer named Freebo. When he goes in for the kill, Dexter winds up killing someone he didn't intend to at all. His latest victim was Miguel Prado (the Assistant D.A.)'s brother. Now it's up to him to fix the mess he created. This was kind of a weak start to the season, but it definitely gets better from here.
Grade: B+

Episode 2: FINDING FREEBO (Air Date: Sunday, October 5, 2008)
Dexter tracks down the drug dealer Freebo and brings him to justice only as his "new best friend" Miguel finds out what Dexter has done to Freebo, but he and Dexter begin to become friends. Also, Dexter and Rita must decide whether they want to deal with having their own baby. Awesome episode that leaves you wanting to see more!
Grade: A-

Episode 3: THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT(Air Date: Sunday, October 12, 2008)
Dexter hunts down a released sexual predator who has set his sights on Rita's kids. He also has to contend with Miguel. It also appears that a new serial killer is loose on the streets. Dubbed the Skinner, his trademark is to remove a piece of skin from his victims. Debra must deal with her new partner who is getting quite irritable. Back on the perfect streak. The Dexter episodes we all know and love have returned!
Grade: A+

Episode 4: ALL IN THE FAMILY (Air Date: Sunday, October 19, 2008)
Dexter and Debra study an unlikely murderess. Miguel also wants to reveal that Dexter killed Freebo to his unstable brother Ramon. This episode had me laughing so hard during some scenes (that were supposed to be funny) and also getting emotional and upset at other scenes. This series has me invested in the characters and story. Everything about this episode was perfect!
Grade: A+

Episode 5: TURNING BIMINESE (Air Date: Sunday, October 26, 2008)
Dexter finds a potential new victim, a wife-killer, and Miguel is still pushing his friendship on Dexter. Rita has a medical emergency as well. This episode was another suspenseful white-knuckler! Amazing stuff! This is what television shows were made for. Also, great cliff-hanger!
Grade: A+

Episode 6: SI SE PUEDE (Air Date: Sunday, November 2, 2008)
Now that Miguel has been clued into what Dexter really is, Dexter expects him to back down when he makes an impossible request. Surprisingly, Miguel agrees to this request and finds a way to make it happen. This episode was good, but it seemed a little too far-fetched for my taste. Things were a little to convenient, but still it was good. Just one of the lesser episodes of the series.
Grade: B

Episode 7: EASY AS PIE (Air Date: Sunday, November 9, 2008)
Dexter faces a moral decision over mercy-killing a good friend who has requested that he do that. Miguel also suggests an innocent lawyer to be the next potential victim for Dexter. When Dexter denies the request because she obviously doesn't fit his code, Miguel reacts angrily. This episode was just perfect. It's emotional and heartfelt, which is something you really don't expect to hear from a show about a serial killer.
Grade: A+

Episode 8: THE DAMAGE A MAN CAN DO (Air Date: Sunday, November 16, 2008)
Miguel makes another suggestion about who the next victim should be, but this time he has a special request. He gets a taste of blood this time and plunges the knife. Dexter agrees, but has his doubts if Miguel will be able to do it. This episode is another perfect chapter in the Dexter series. It is as dark and brooding as they come. It also contains one of the biggest and most exciting cliff-hanger in the series thus far.
Grade: A+

Episode 9: ABOUT LAST NIGHT (Air Date: Sunday, November 23, 2008)
Miguel has strayed from the code and killed someone who Dexter considers innocent. Dexter desperately tries to make him see the error of his ways. He slowly realizes that he's created a monster. This episode was pays off the cliff-hanger of the last episode. Good stuff with some terrific acting!
Grade: B+

Episode 10: GO YOUR OWN WAY (Air Date: Sunday, November 30, 2008)
While the acting is still aces from everyone involved and the characters are still well-developed, the writing of this season had become too predictable and a little formulaic. When a certain twist of this episode (involving The Skinner) comes to be revealed, I was feeling a little like "Really? That's kinda lame." I could kinda, sorta tell where Season 3 was heading at this point.
Grade: B

Episode 11: I HAD A DREAM (Air Date: Sunday, December 7, 2008)
My predictions have come true and this episode really wraps a ton of things from the entire season up within just 50 minutes. It really leaves no room for anything super-exciting for the next episode, with the exception of The Skinner. The Miguel plotline is wrapped up with a neat little bow on top and that's pretty much all that happens in this one.
Grade: B

Episode 12: DO YOU TAKE DEXTER MORGAN? (Air Date: Sunday, December 14, 2008)
Though not bad, this was a pretty weak wrap-up for Season 3. There wasn't much excitement to be had and we didn't have the suspense of the Miguel plotline. We do see The Skinner story wrapped up and Rita and Dexter finally get married. End of season.
Grade: B-

Overall Grade: A-: Starting off strong and containing some really fantastic episodes, this ends up being the lesser of the first three seasons of Dexter. The acting was A-grade as always, there was some excellent tension, but the writing falls merely into the good, but not as great as it usually is, category. Still this Season beats most of the crap that is on TV currently. Overall, Season 3 keeps quality coming in the series and though containing some weaker episodes, none of them are bad at all! Recommended for any Dexter fan!

TALES FROM THE CRYPT Season 4 (1992)

2011-01-11T07:44:00.000-08:00

Directed by: Tom Hanks, William Friedkin, Gilbert Adler, Richard Donner, Tom Holland, Joel Silver, and many more.

Written by: Gilbert Adler, Donald Longtooth, A.L. Katz, Frank Darabont, Fred Dekker, and many more.

Starring: Treat Williams, Tom Hanks, Christopher Reeve, Meat Loaf, David Warner, Zelda Rubinstein, Robert Patrick, David Morse, Brad Pitt, Joe Pesci, Zach Galligan, Timothy Dalton, Margot Kidder, Kevin McCarthy, and many more.

The fourth season of the die-lightful series full of death, gore, and...bad puns.TALES FROM THE CRYPT keeps on trucking with 14 more stories of horror! Do they hold up or fall a bit short? Read on to find out!

Episode 1: NONE BUT THE LONELY HEART (Air Date: Saturday, June 27, 1992)
(based on a short story in TALES FROM THE CRYPT #33)
He's a real lady-killer! Treat Williams stars as a greedy con-man/murderer who preys on elderly, rich women. He marrys them, gets himself into their will, and then kills them. Too bad, even after death, they still love him! This episode was a great start to the season! Good acting, good writing, and great directing (by Tom Hanks!). Also, awesome ending. This is definitely an episode to watch!
Grade: A-

Episode 2: THIS'LL KILL YA (Air Date: Saturday, June 27, 1992)
(based on a short story in CRIME SUSPENSTORIES #23)
This one is kind of a downer. Not because it's depressing or sad, but because the story (and the twist ending) is so predictable! The acting was on the so-so side of things and there really wasn't much to this episode at all.
Grade: C-

Episode 3: ON A DEADMAN'S CHEST (Air Date: Saturday, June 27, 1992)
(based on a short story in HAUNT OF FEAR #12)
A rock n roll star gets a tattoo from a mysterious man, only to find it's a picture of a dragon mixed with a woman who he absolutely loathes. When the tattoo begins to change form it wreaks havoc on his life. This was another great episode. The reason it doesn't get a higher grade is because of how bad one of the effects looks (pictured above), it looks like a reject muppet. Good episode, dark ending!
Grade: B+

Episode 4: SEANCE (Air Date: Saturday, July 4, 1992)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #25)
Two con-artists try to pull one over on an elderly man and then cause his accidental murder. So they try to stage a Seance to try to convince his wife to give them his money. Turns out that his ghost might be very real and very angry. This was a fun episode that had a good dark atmosphere about it. It had well-developed characters and some real suspense!
Grade: B

Episode 5: BEAUTY REST (Air Date: Saturday, July 11, 1992)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #35)
A murderous woman would do anything to win a beauty pageant, too bad she didn't realize that it's what on the inside that counts. This was a decent episode. The payoff wasn't really worth waiting for, but it was still well-done. Just a decent episode, not a great one by any means.
Grade: B-

Episode 6: WHAT'S COOKIN' (Air Date: Wednesday, July 22, 1992)
(based on a short story in HAUNT OF FEAR #12)
One of my all-time personal favorite episodes of the whole series! This tale concerns a floorishing new steakhouse serving tasty, but mysterious, meat. Fantastic mix of gross-outs and humor. This is just an awesome episode and one of the best in Season 4 (if not, THE best)!
Grade: A+

Episode 7: THE NEW ARRIVAL (Air Date: Saturday, July 25, 1992)
(based on a short story in HAUNT OF FEAR #25)
A radio child-psychologist makes a house-call to one of his frequent callers. Turns out there's something a little more demented and disturbing about her daughter then he expected! This one was all about atmosphere and it is truly one of the creepier episodes of the season. Leaves you unnerved and freaked out. Amazing episode!
Grade: A+

Episode 8: SHOWDOWN (Air Date: Saturday, August 1, 1992)
(based on a short story in TWO-FISTED TALES #37)
A Western/Ghost Story that, though not scary, is really quite awesome. With an amazing cast, fantastic writing and directing, this episode simply deserves to be seen. This one is on par with another more-drama-than-pure-horror episode YELLOW (from Season 3). Just check this one out!
Grade: A

Episode 9: KING OF THE ROAD (Air Date: Saturday, August 8, 1992)
(based on a short story in TWO-FISTED TALES)
A cop who used to be a drag racer finds an opponent in a young punk who keeps harassing him. When the punk kidnaps his daughter, it's up to the ex-drag racer cop to race one last time. This episode felt like it really didn't belong with any of the TALES FROM THE CRYPT. It was more like a suspense-action story with really cliche' dialogue and mediocre acting.
Grade: C+

Episode 10: MANIAC AT LARGE (Air Date: Wednesday, August 19, 1992)
(based on a short story in CRIME SUSPENSTORIES #27)
A frightened librarian finds herself terrorized by the possibility that a serial killer might be after her. This episode just sucked. There was no suspense, the acting was terrible and the ending was atrocious. This story is easily the worst tale in this whole season!
Grade: D

Episode 11: SPLIT PERSONALITY (Air Date: Wednesday, August 26, 1992)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #30)
A con-man finds himself wooing twins who share everything. When he convinces them that he has a twin brother of his own, they marry "both" of them. Too bad they eventually find out what's really going on and they decide to share him. This was an awesome episode and it's easily one of the best in Season 4! Joe Pesci is great as the scumbag and the twins themselves are creepy. Amazing ending as well!
Grade: A

Episode 12: STRUNG ALONG (Air Date: Wednesday, September 2, 1992)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #33)
An elderly puppeter suspects that his young (and pretty hot) wife is cheating on him with another man. Not only that, his clown marionette Koko keeps on talking to him in his mind. It turns out that Koko may have murderous intentions. This was another great episode! It's more of a slow-burn than anything, but it does the job of creeping you out well.
Grade: B+

Episode 13: WEREWOLF CONCERTO (Air Date: Wednesday, September 9, 1992)
(based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #16)
A mysterious werewolf hunter finds that one of the guests at an isolated hotel is indeed a werewolf. It's now up to him to capture and kill the beast before it can kill again. This starts off as a really good and solid episode, that is until the idiotic and stupid ending that made me give it a lower grade. The acting is good and the writing is clever, save for that damn ending!
Grade: B-

Episode 14: CURIOSITY KILLED (Air Date: Wednesday, September 16, 1992)
(based on a short story in TALES FROM THE CRYPT #36)
An elderly woman suspects that her grouchy husband and his friends may be plotting her demise. This was a good episode that stars Margot Kidder and Kevin McCarthy. They are both great as a bickering old couple. Also, what a twist they pull in this one. It goes from suspenseful murder thriller to...well, you'll see. Dark ending too, yay for that!
Grade: B

Overall Grade: B: This is merely a good season. It's not as great as the previous 3 seasons, but there is still plenty of fun to be had here! 5 A-grade tales of terror, 6 B-grade horror stories, 2 C-grade meh tales, and 1 lame episode. Overall, the good far outweighs the bad! So I would recommend that if you are a fan of TALES FROM THE CRYPT you check out Season 4 (which contains 11 good stories of fright and fun)!

VANISHING ON 7TH STREET (2011)

2011-01-08T05:50:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: USA

USA Release: Friday, February 18, 2011 (Limited Theatrical)

How I Saw It: Comcast On Demand

MPAA Rating: R for Language

Running Time: 1 hour 30 minutes

Directed by: Brad Anderson

Written by: Anthony Jaswinski

Starring: Hayden Christensen, Thandie Newton, John Leguizamo, Jacob Latimore

Brad Anderson has created some of the best horror films in recent memory (the utterly terrifying SESSION 9, the head-trip THE MACHINIST, and the best episode of the entire Masters Of Horror series titled SOUNDS LIKE). With all these awesome movies, there is bound to be a screw-up here and there. Sadly, that screw-up was VANISHING ON 7TH STREET.

The premise is great! A post-apocalyptic story about a group of survivors who find each other in an abandoned bar three days after the apocalypse has begun. This apocalypse isn't zombies, storms, or nuclear war though. The end of the world in this movie is something in the dark is making people vanish. The four survivors must band together and find a way to safety or risk vanishing themselves. That sounds like an awesome horror flick. The trailer promises chills as well. Too bad the actual movie is an utter mess.

First, the acting (if you can call it that) was embarassing from everyone involved. We're talking THE HAPPENING level of acting here. Yep, that bad. Second, the effects (though restrained) look pretty cheesy and elicit unintentional laughter. Third, the groan-inducing ending. Wow, Really?! That was the best you could do?

The cinematography isn't that inspired either. Each character isn't exactly likeable. How are we supposed to root for these people when there's nothing to root for? This was a major disappointment which is really quite sad. The premise and director are great in the horror genre. However, everything else sucked.

Grade: D-: Easily Brad Anderson's worst film, because all his other films are awesome, VANISHING ON 7TH STREET is incoherent, stupid, and a mess of a movie. There is really nothing to like here, which is pretty tragic. Too bad, I can see about 30 years down the line a possibility of a remake to this film. Maybe that will do the premise justice. All I can say is I hope Brad Anderson's next movie is better than this!

EXORCISMUS (2011)

2011-01-08T03:46:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: Spain

USA Release: Wednesday, January 5, 2011 (Limited Theatrical)

How I Saw It: Comcast On Demand

MPAA Rating: Not Rated (contains Language)
Running Time: 1 hour 38 minutes

Directed by: Manuel Carballo

Written by: David Munoz

Starring: Doug Bradley, Sophie Vavasseur, Tommy Bastow, Stephen Billington, Richard Felix

There are some movies that transcend the word bad, these movies are ones that get everything wrong....and I mean everything. Not one decent thing can be found among these movies. EXORCISMUS (an English-language exorcism film from Spain) is one of these movies! It truly blows my mind how the cast and crew of this movie thought that it was any good...at all.

The plot is as cardboard as they come. Emma Evans is having problems and strange occurences around the home. Turns out she's possessed. Her family calls in a troubled priest with a troubled past (aren't they all troubled with troubled pasts!) who has to exorcise this demon from Emma. To give you an idea of how unoriginal this movie is the original title was THE POSSESSION OF EMMA EVANS (which is the second "Possession Of..." title in a year, the last one was the utterly painful POSSESSION OF DAVID O'REILLY!).

Honestly, you're better off just sticking to THE EXORCIST, THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE, THE LAST EXORCISM, and (if the trailer is any indication) the upcoming movie THE RITE! All these movies are so much better than EXORCISMUS! It just so unbelievably horrid! Not one redeemable thing is in this movie...not one! Ridiculous use of slow-mo, some of the worst cinematography in recent history, bad effects, the list goes on!

I will never understand what the makers of this movie thought they were creating. Such a sucky, sucky film with an unoriginal and lame premise. Even if you like Exorcism movies, you still should avoid this like an actual possessed person!

Grade: F: This movie is a disaster! An utterly tragic, horrid, unoriginal, lame, cardboard disaster! Here's hoping THE RITE comes along and cleanses this mess from my memory! In case you can't tell, I would not recommend this movie. What I would recommend is that some movie-loving vigilante takes matters into their own hands and finds every print of this movie and destroys it. No, just no! Avoid!

SEASON OF THE WITCH (2011)

2011-01-07T16:31:00.000-08:00

Country Of Origin: USA

USA Release: Friday, January 7, 2011 (Wide Theatrical)

How I Saw It: Movie Theater

(Friday, January 7, 2011) (Jordan Landing) (2:55 pm)

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for Violence, Gore, and Language

Running Time: 1 hour 35 minutes

Directed by: Dominic Sena

Written by: Bragi F. Schut

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman, Claire Foy, Stephen Campbell Moore

Nicholas Cage battling witches, possessed people, evil wolves, etc. Must be the new film titled SEASON OF THE WITCH. This movie is the first wide theatrical release of 2011. How does it hold up? It's on the so-so side of things. Starts off good, turns into a really bad Syfy Channel movie in the last third. There was a reason this one was shelved (I remember seeing trailers for this movie when I saw THE LOVELY BONES in theaters LAST January). Still it isn't all bad, the first half of the movie is actually quite entertaining.

The story follows two knights (Nicholas Cage, Ron Perlman) who are ordered to transport a young woman suspected of being a witch to a far-away monastery where the monks can take away her power. Though one of the knights is actually sympathetic towards the woman, it appears that there may be something seriously wrong with their mission.

You can divide this movie into two parts. The first is an actual entertaining and well-made hour and the second is 30 minutes that belong to a really cheesy, stupid, bad Syfy Channel movie that has no place in a movie theater of any kind. Nicholas Cage (love him or hate him) falters in places and Ron Perlman seems to really not know what he is doing in this movie. He seems to be looking for a way off the set every scene.

Despite the acting faults, the cinematography is beautiful to look at and there are some really cool action scenes. When (SPOILER) a CGI demon who talks like he's out of the kung fu movie shows up and starts causing mayhem, that's where I draw the line between cool and stupid. The last 30 minutes of this movie are simply a disaster and I am not sure if they are reshoots, but they definitely do not fit in the tone of this film.

Grade: C: 1 hour of entertainment, 30 minutes of agony. It's a really tough call what grade to give SEASON OF THE WITCH. The good far outweighs the bad and though riddled with plot holes, bad CGI, lame dialogue in that last third of the film, I still managed to find myself not hating this movie. I would say this is pretty much a child friendly horror movie and they might dig it a lot more than the average horror fanatic. Can't say I recommend this, but hey, I didn't hate it either. This one is a toss up!

RED DEAD REDEMPTION: UNDEAD NIGHTMARE

2011-01-07T05:38:00.000-08:00

It’s impressive what Rockstar Games has done with this 10 dollar ad-on. Maybe not for the quality of the download, but for the ridiculous amount of content. You can easily spend 5-6 hours with UNDEAD NIGHTMARE. It’s clear how much effort went in to this project. All of the old characters are back and so are the voice actors who are still great. UNDEAD NIGHTMARE is filled with new cut scenes and dialog, let’s just say that there’s a reason it’s a 2 gig download.

I was lukewarm on RED DEAD REDEMPTION when it came out. The story was amazing, although it slowed down and lost its course halfway through the game. That almost made me not finish it but it picked up again pretty quickly. But what really killed the game for me was the fast travel system. It was way too clumsy for a game world that is so big. But as I said, the story was fantastic and it kept me going all the way through.

Just like the original RED DEAD REDEMPTION the story is awesome in UNDEAD NIGHTMARE. It starts out with John Marston’s family turning into zombies, so now he has to find a cure for the zombie disease. That’s all that needs to be said. The story is cheesy as hell with a bunch of one-liners and jokes all throughout. It’s a just a hoot to watch the story unfold. And there are a lot of small touches that Rockstar made that make this download have an amazing atmosphere. They changed the color pallet of the game to make it look darker. And the all the animals are zombies too, my favorite being the zombie bears.

Notice how all the praise I’m giving this game is all about the story or the world that you’re in. The gameplay in UNDEAD NIGHTMARE boils down to running away from zombies and trying to shoot them in the head. There’s no need to use the cover system at all. Not once are you getting shot at in this DLC. The dead eye meter comes in handy though since its way easier to pull of head shots that way. There’s no other mission type then to kill zombies, which is fun but it gets old pretty quickly.

Grade B- : The story and the characters are what make this DLC work. If there was no story to this and just some multi-player modes this would have been a skip. But, it’s worth suffering through some parts of the game just to watch all the characters interact and to watch the amazing world that is around you.

DEXTER Season 2 (2007)

2011-01-05T20:41:00.000-08:00

Directed by: Tony Goldwyn, Marcos Siega, Nick Gomez, Keith Gordon, Jeremy Podeswa, Steve Shill

Written by: Daniel Cerone, Scott Buck, Timothy Schlattmann, Scott Reynolds, Melissa Rosenberg, Lauren Gussis, Clyde Phillips

Starring: Michael C. Hall, Jennifer Carpenter, Lauren Velez, David Zayas, James Remar, C.S. Lee, Julie Benz, Christina Robinson, Preston Bailey, Erik King, Keith Carradine, Jaime Murray

You read that right! I watched another season starring America's favorite serial killer and what did Season 2 hold for Dexter devotees? Read on and find out.
WARNING!!! MAJOR SPOILERS FOR SEASON ONE, SKIP THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED SEASON ONE OF DEXTER!!!
We last left with...Dexter killing his biological brother Rudy (who was actually the Ice Truck Killer) to save his step-sister Debra. Rita was still madly in love with Dexter and suspects nothing about who he really is. Paul (Rita's abusive husband) was sent back to jail, because Dexter set him up. And finally Officer Doakes is extremely suspicious of what Dexter is hiding and has begun tailing him wherever he goes!

Episode 1: IT'S ALIVE! (Air Date: Sunday, September 30, 2007)
Dexter finds himself unable to kill. He wants to, needs to, but just can't find himself able. Debra is having issues with getting back to work so soon. Rita and Paul also get into it, because Paul still swears up and down that Dexter set him up to go back to prison. This was a pretty solid return for the show. It wasn't as amazing as the first season's finest episodes, but it did the job just fine.
Grade: A-

Episode 2: WAITING TO EXHALE (Air Date: Sunday, October 7, 2007)
The precinct are tracking what appears to be a new serial killer far worse than the Ice Truck Killer, they dub him The Bay Harbor Butcher. Turns out that this "Bay Harbor Butcher" is actually Dexter and his killings are now under investigation by both his precinct and the FBI. The pressure is on and now Dexter has to contend with every single mess-up or mistake he might have left at the crime scenes. Also, Dexter explains to Rita that he is an "addict" (he doesn't tell her to what, so she thinks herion) and he joins a 12-step program to please Rita. Raising the bar again, this series is staying on its A-game material!
Grade: A

Episode 3: AN INCONVENIENT LIE (Air Date: Sunday, October 14, 2007)
Dexter tries to take down a used car salesman who may be responsible for the deaths of some of his paying customers. The acting, pacing, everything is superb in this episode. This is the first perfect episode of Season 2! The characters keep evolving and so far the used car salesman is the baddest villian of the season! The tension was unbelievably thick and this series still treats it's viewing audience with respect (which is always a good thing)!
Grade: A+

Episode 4: SEE-THROUGH (Air Date: Sunday, October 21, 2007)

Dexter has chosen his sponsor for the 12-step program and it is...his new found British friend Lila. Rita's evil wench of a mother arrives at Rita's home and puts extra stress on her. Agent Lundy (the main man from the FBI assigned to the Bay Harbor Butcher case) is slowly narrowing the case down with Debra. Doakes is still on Dexter's tail. This was pretty much filler and exposition for the upcoming episodes. Sometimes, that's not such a bad thing.
Grade: B+

Episode 5: THE DARK DEFENDER (Air Date: Sunday, October 28, 2007)

The Precinct investigate a new murder, set in a comic book store and Dexter finds parallels between himself and superheroes. Dexter also finds tracks down the last remaining man who killed his own mother in front of his face. He means to go there simply to satisfy his feelings, but will he be able to control his killer urges (especially, in front of his sponsor Lila who is going with him)
Grade: A+

Episode 6: DEX, LIES, AND VIDEOTAPE (Air Date: Sunday, November 4, 2007)

Rita and Dexter break up after she finds out that Dexter and Lila slept in a Hotel room together. Dexter also makes some bigger errors that put more strain on his relationship with Rita. Also, a copycat inspired by the Bay Harbor Butcher is on the loose and it's up to Dexter to put him down. This episode was really frustrating. Not because it was bad or anything. It was just emotionally devastating to see these characters we've had time to care about go through these hardships. For that this is one hell of an episode!
Grade: A+

Episode 7: THAT NIGHT, A FOREST GREW (Air Date: Sunday, November 11, 2007)

Dark secrets arise. Doakes finally gets confronted by Dexter. Lila isn't exactly who she appears to be. Also, Rita tells her overbearing mother to get lost! Fantastic episode. Probably the best of the season thus far! Makes me excited to see what's coming next!
Grade: A+

Episode 8: MORNING COMES (Air Date: Sunday, November 18, 2007)

Agent Lundy strongly suspects that someone in Dexter's precinct is the Bay Harbor Butcher. He begins interviewing everyone (big and small) including Dexter, whose interview doesn't go so well. Making him a strong suspect. Officer Doakes breaks into Dexter's house and discovers something secret. Lila also seems a little too needy for Dexter. This was another fantastic episode that keeps the tension going and makes you wonder how it's all going to turn out.
Grade: A

Episode 9: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE (Air Date: Sunday, November 25, 2007)
Dexter's latest kill is a familiar face from earlier in the season. Lila isn't willing to let go of Dexter without a fight. Lundy also has a prime suspect for the Bay Harbor Butcher and the suspect is...watch the episode! This was a return to the perfection that fans have come to expect from this series! Absolutely masterfully done and extremely well-told.
Grade: A+

Episode 10: THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT HARRY (Air Date: Sunday, December 2, 2007)

Doakes has tracked Dexter to his latest victim and now Dexter has to contend with him. Also, Rita starts to open up to Dexter again and forgive him. Lila also turns out to be a bigger psycho than anyone could have expected. This was another awesome episode that plays with your emotions and a major secret about Dexter's past is revealed. Bravo!
Grade: A+

Episode 11: LEFT TURN AHEAD (Air Date: Sunday, December 9, 2007)

Lila finds out a major secret about Dexter and attempts to blackmail him into loving her. Dexter also contemplates turning himself in, but takes a day to set everything in his life right. Another episode of perfection! This series keeps getting better and better. Awesome cliff-hanger too!
Grade: A+

Episode 12: THE BRITISH INVASION (Air Date: Sunday, December 16, 2007)

The season comes to a close with some truly twisted revelations and dark atmosphere. This was the best episode of the Season 2 (and fittingly so). This was an awesome conclusion to this amazing season!
Grade: A+

Overall Grade: A+: The best series on television continues the perfect streak. Not a single bad episode at all in this amazing season. Full of great acting, writing, directing, etc. Another amazing season is pulled out of possibly the best horror television show ever created. That's right, I think this series is that good! Seriously, if you are even remotely a fan of the show, keep watching the series!

THE NIGHTMARE ROOM Season 1 (2001-2002)

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Although, I never watched THE NIGHTMARE ROOM when it originally aired, I did eventually catch the DVD releases (there are two volumes containing 8 episodes altogether). Watching this show brings me back to a time when I watched GOOSEBUMPS, ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?, and EERIE INDIANA. It may be hard to not seem biased in this review, but I will try to put my nostalgia aside for these kinds of children/preteen's horror tv shows. Keep in mind that this was a kids show made in 2001, so it should be taken as an opinion on those merits. Also, not that I wasn't able to see the entire season, because they seem like they are never going to release the remaining 5 episodes that weren't included on the DVDs. So without, further ado this is my review of the twin brother to GOOSEBUMPS...R.L.Stine's THE NIGHTMARE ROOM!

Episode 1: DON'T FORGET ME (Air Date: Friday, August 31, 2001)
Amanda Bynes moves into a new house with her younger brother and parents. After hypnotizing her younger brother, everyone seems to be forgetting about him, even her own parents! Could she be the cause of all this or does it have something to do with the house? This episode had a good enough plot, but the effects were pretty poor, also the acting wavered in places. It was decent though.
Grade: B-

Episode 2: SCAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR (Air Date: Friday, August 31, 2001)
Shia LaBeouf finds that his doll won't leave him alone. It goes after anyone he gets close to and it does so in the form of Dylan/Cole Sprouse. This is one of the better episodes in the series (that I've seen any way). There was actual atmosphere, suspense, and a dark ending. It was predictable, but entertaining too. Isn't that what it's all about!?
Grade: B+

Episode 4: TANGLED WEB (Air Date: Saturday, October 6, 2001)
Another solid episode that turns out to be pretty great. A frequent liar (Justin Berfield) finds that all his lies are indeed coming to a very real, scary truth. He's told some pretty stupid and outrageous lies and now it's all coming up to haunt him. This was another solid episode and I dug it quite a bit.
Grade: B+

Episode 5: FEAR GAMES (Air Date: Saturday, October 13, 2001)
This one was a little too stupid. Apparently it's actually based off a trilogy of books (written by R.L. Stine). Yet, there are three books that are literally crammed into 25 minutes of episode. If these books were translated accurately, then I am pretty sure I never want to read them. This one was so ridiculous that it was watcheable, but just not in a good way.
Grade: C

Episode 7: FULL MOON HALLOWEEN (Air Date: Saturday, October 27, 2001)
Probably the last good episode of the series that I've seen thus far. This was a creative and new take on the werewolf mythos. It wasn't about the werewolf itself, but more about the creatures that hunt werewolves getting loose and hunting kids trapped in a house. Kudos to having a good and dark ending as well.
Grade: B

Episode 11: MY NAME IS EVIL (Air Date: Saturday, February 23, 2002)
This is another story that is a bit too ridiculous when summed up in a 25 minute TV show. I've actually read the book this one was based on and the book is really good. The episodeis another story though. This one got annoying with the amateur acting and bad effects. Read the book instead.
Grade: C

Episode 12: CAMP NOWHERE Part 1 (Air Date: Saturday, March 9, 2002)
This was a really crappy way to cap off the series. This stinker is based off another good R.L. Stine horror story, but in this case they still didn't do the book justice. This is all leading up to the second part and it was just lame and really poorly acted. Boo!
Grade: C-

Episode 13: CAMP NOWHERE Part 2 (Air Date: Saturday, March 16, 2002)
Again, what do ghosts say...BOO! This episode caps off the series in a really crappy way. People who were just getting into the groove of THE NIGHTMARE ROOM or just tuning in for the first time must have really hated this episode. This is the worst of the series. It sucks!
Grade: D

Overall Grade (From What I've Seen): C+: This series was definitely hit or miss. Looking back on it now, I can see why it was cancelled and didn't receive a second season. Although, I do think it's pretty much on the same pillar as GOOSEBUMPS. Cheesy, fun, and heart-warming to horror fans trying to introduce a young one to our beloved genre! I still say you should check this series out. Just don't expect the effects or the acting to have aged very well. So if you have a young one, check this out with them!

MISSING EPISODES (THAT AREN'T AVALIABLE ON DVD):
Episode 3: THE HOWLER (Air Date: Saturday, September 29, 2001)
Episode 6: SCHOOL SPIRIT (Air Date: Saturday, October 20, 2001)
Episode 8: FOUR EYES (Air Date: Saturday, December 1, 2001)
Episode 9: LOCKER 13 (Air Date: Saturday, December 8, 2001)
Episode 10: DEAR DIARY, I'M DEAD (Air Date: Saturday, February 2, 2002)

TALES FROM THE CRYPT Season 3 (1991)

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Directed by: Michael J. Fox, Tobe Hooper, Walter Hill, Robert Zemeckis, and many more.

Written by: Gilbert Adler, A.L. Katz, Terry Black, Richard Christian Matheson, Walter Hill, and many more.

Starring: Andrew McCarthy, Kyle MacLachlan, Bruce McGill, Beau Bridges, Whoopi Goldberg, Malcolm McDowell, Jon Lovitz, Steven Weber, Michael Berryman, George Wendt, Tim Roth, Kirk Douglas, Eric Douglas, Lance Henrikson, Dan Aykroyd, and many more.

Hello boils and ghouls! The frights, chills, and thrills continue in TALES FROM THE CRYPT Season 3. The tales themselves are more of a mixed bag this time around, but you do get some awesome ones, great ones, okay ones, and a couple of lame ones. There is still more than enough here for any horror-hound though!

Episode 1: LOVED TO DEATH (Air Date: Saturday, June 15, 1991)
Based on a short story in TALES FROM THE CRYPT #25.
A hopeless romantic finds that the girl of his dreams just isn't interested in him. So he slips her a love potion, only to find it works a little too well! Now he has her, now he can't get rid of her...unless he can think of something drastic! This episode was cheesy fun. It's over-the-top and corny, but I enjoyed it.
Grade: B

Episode 2: CARRION DEATH (Air Date: Saturday, June 15, 1991)
Based on a short story in SHOCK SUSPENSTORIES #9.
A criminal on the run is pursued by a cop. When the cop captures him he handcuffs them both together. The criminal shoots the cop, only to find that that the officer swallowed the key to the cuffs. Now he is stuck out in the desert with no one to help him but himself...and a hungry vulture following him. This is one of my 13 favorite TALES FROM THE CRYPT of all time. So simple and disturbing, it's my second-favorite episode of Season 3.
Grade: A+

Episode 3: THE TRAP (Air Date: Saturday, June 15, 1991)
Based on a short story in SHOCK SUSPENSTORIES #18.
A scummy husband wants to collect his life insurance without kicking the bucket. He enlists the help of his wife and brother, but things can go dead wrong! This episode was really fun and great. It was almost more of a dark comedy than a horror story, but it does have a sinister sense around it! Great story!
Grade: B+

Episode 4: ABRA CADAVER (Air Date: Wednesday, June 19, 1991)
Based on a short story in TALES FROM THE CRYPT #37.
Two bickering brothers find enjoyment in tormenting each other with extreme pranks, when a prank goes wrong...disaster strikes. This is another perfect TALE FROM THE CRYPT. This one has another pitch-perfect pace, hilarious sense of dark humor, and a grim ending. Woohoo!
Grade: A+

Episode 5: TOP BILLING (Air Date: Wednesday, June 26, 1991)
Based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #39.
Jon Lovitz plays an desperate actor who is willing to do anything to get a part in Hamlet...even kill for it. But then a bizarre series of twists reveal that this version of Hamlet isn't quite what it appears to be. Lovitz gives a hilarious performance in this episode and so do the "crew" behind the play. This also has a GREAT ending! This is another must-see story from Season 3!
Grade: A+

Episode 6: DEAD WAIT (Air Date: Wednesday, July 3, 1991)
Based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #23.
This is the first of the disappointing TALES in this season. A thief is going after a rare black pearl in a foreign country. He deals with voodoo, flesh-eating worms, and Whoopi Goldberg. AAAAHHH!!!! This was a kinda lame episode that just didn't hold much interest or promise for 30 minutes.
Grade: C

Episode 7: THE RELUCTANT VAMPIRE (Air Date: Wednesday, July 10, 1991)
Based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #20.
This is another just okay episode. It stars Malcolm McDowell as a vampire who really doesn't want to hurt anybody, which is why he works at the blood bank. When the blood starts to turn up in short supply, it's up to him to save the bank from collapsing. This was really a so-so episode. There were some funny moments, but overall, it felt like an episode of GOOSEBUMPS.
Grade: C+

Episode 8: EASEL KILL YA (Air Date: Wednesday, July 17, 1991)
Based on a short story in VAULT OF HORROR #31.
A struggling artist decides to do killer new paintings, paintings of the very victims HE murders. When his new-found girlfriend finds out, his loyalties are put to the test. This was a fantastic and dark as they come. Amazing ending that will make your jaw hit the floor, and Tim Roth puts in a great performance as the murderous painter.
Grade: A

Episode 9: UNDERTAKING PALOR (Air Date: Wednesday, July 24, 1991)
Based on a short story in TALES FROM THE CRYPT #39.
This is another episode that suffers from a too cartoonish vibe. It's almost like THE GOONIES for adults. This episode is about a murderous undertaker who is confronted by a group of kids. Sigh, I'm afraid every episode can't be a winner.
Grade: B-

Episode 10: MOURNIN' MESS (Air Date: Wednesday, July 31, 1991)
Based on a short story in TALES FROM THE CRYPT #38.
A serial killer appears to be loose in a city. He seems to be targeting homeless people and sadly Dale Sweeney has just joined the ranks of the homeless. Will Dale survive in this topsy, turvy world and more importantly can he dodge the homeless killer. Well, since this is a TALE FROM THE CRYPT, I think we know the answer to both questions! Let's just say that everything is not as it seems!
Grade: A-

Episode 11: SPLIT SECOND (Air Date: Wednesday, August 7, 1991)
Based on a short story in SHOCK SUSPENSTORIES #4.
My favorite episode of Season 3! This story concerns the story of a cruel boss of a lumberjack group and his equally evil wife. When one of the lumberjacks is badly injured at the hands of the boss, the others take a little revenge on the couple...lumberjack style!
Grade: A+

Episode 12: DEADLINE (Air Date: Wednesday, August 14, 1991)
Based on a short story in SHOCK SUSPENSTORIES #12.
A alcoholic newspaper reporter would do anything to get a front page story...even kill for it. This episode sucks! There's not much more I can say about it, because nothing much happens in it. Let's move on.
Grade: D

Episode 13: SPOILED (Air Date: Wednesday, August 21, 1991)
Based on a short story in HAUNT OF FEAR #26.
The crappy streak continues in this tale of an affair and an evil scientist husband gone mad. That picture above this episode. That's the payoff...it's stupid and lame. Not worth 30 minutes of waiting...for THAT! This episode sucks as well, let's move on.
Grade: D

Episode 14: YELLOW (Air Date: Wednesday, August 28, 1991)
And the third season of TALES FROM THE CRYPT closes off with one of the stronger episodes in the bunch. This tale is an hour-long, almost-drama-like study of human darkness and bravery in the time of war. With an all-star cast, cool make-up, excellent writing, this one is definitely worth viewing! No wonder this episode got nominated for awards! It's quite an amazing feat for a horror television series.
Grade: A

Overall Grade: B+: This season was a bit of a mixed bag. There were some awesome episodes (including some of the best in the entire series), but also some good, okay and two just plain crappy stories. The good stories are worth checking out by themselves, and though this season has the first two geniunely crappy episodes, the season as a whole is worth while. Overall count: 7 A-grade tales, 3 B-grade tales, 2 C-grade tales, and 2 D-grade ones. Overall the good outweighs the bad. Season 3 of TALES FROM THE CRYPT comes recommended for any fan who likes horror and humor mixed together!

TALES FROM THE CRYPT #5: YABBA DABBA VOODOO (Graphic Novel)

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Although, this one doesn't stand up to the previous TALES FROM THE CRYPT graphic novels, this is still an enjoyable trip through some horror stories.
Story #1: IGNOBLE ROT: The best story of the bunch is the first! This is the story of a con-man who gets cursed by a witch. He's dead, yet still alive. What follows is a tale so disgusting I could barely believe what was happening. This story is definitely worth looking at (just have a strong stomach)! (Grade: A+)
Story #2: VIRTUAL HOODOO: A video game creator uses virtual voodoo and curses to exact revenge on his scummy ex-boss and bossy landlord. This one was unoriginal and pretty lame. (Grade: C-)
Story #3: SHE WOULD RULE THE WORLD!: Two scientists cure a dying woman by injecting her with a serum that will make her adapt and survive in the enviorment around her. Turns out it works a little too well. This was the second-best tale, but what blew me away was the beautiful artwork in this story. The finest graphic novel work I've seen since the 30 DAYS OF NIGHT graphic novels! (Grade: B+)
Story #4: GLASS HEADS: A slacker begins to have psychic visions of damsel in distress. He struggles to find a way to save her. The ending is what really made this story. I was throughly impressed. It dragged a little too much, but overall it was a solid story. (Grade: B)

Grade: B: This was the latest in a line of decreasing skill in the new TALES FROM THE CRYPT graphic novel series, but it wasn't bad at all. It contained 1 lame story, 2 good ones, and 1 awesome one. Worth a look.